Ain't it the truth?? ;p

Princess Ballerina Veronica at 5+ months!

The Fourth Trimester...

Picture this:

Setting: Your place
Time Period: Present Day
Tone: Exhaustion mixed with Elation


You arrive home from the hospital on a high you've never experienced before after some of the most painful and miraculous days of your life. A new tiny person rules the roost, demanding all of your attention day and night. Your body is completely unrecognizable -- flabby in places it once was firm, painful and tender in places that once felt amazing and sensitive. You are tired all the time, and sometimes inexplicably emotional. But things should be back to normal soon right?? - After all, you're not pregnant anymore.


Setting #2: "The Womb"
Time Period: Ummm... What is "time" exactly??
Tone: Confusion and hunger... mixed with a little bit of gas.


There you are, barely 37 weeks old and all warm & snuggly in the womb. Suddenly you are wrenched from the only home you've ever known and thrown into the cold and unfamiliar outside world. You are handled by giants and shoved into clothes, a carseat and a crib. All of this... and it's still 3 more months until you have any clue what's going on.

THIS... is "The Fourth Trimester".

It's the transitional three months after a baby is born where "Women" become "Mothers", and "Fetuses" become "Babies". It's an extremely dramatic and emotional time for all.

And I'm not being cheeky! Actually, the term "The Fourth Trimester" is commonly used among medical folk. (Google it ;p) Scientists say that when primitive women evolved to stand up on two legs, the shape of the female pelvis became narrower and resulted in human babies being born 3-4 months earlier than they were supposed to have been... this is so that their heads didn't grow too large to pass safely through the birth canal! (Crazy right?!)

For this reason, some experts say human babies need the first three months of life to give their brain and central nervous system the time needed to mature. In the course of those three months, an 'infant' develops into a 'baby' who is able to respond to the outside world. Breathing starts to regulate. They are able to lift their heads, smile, coo, develop social interactions, and begin to soothe themselves.

This is why babies are so dependent on their parents-- for basic SURVIVAL. Compared to other mammals (like cows and horses) that are born with survival instincts that allow them to get up and walk or run as soon as they are born, human infants are RIDICULOUSLY more fragile and vulnerable at birth.

** STAT ** The human newborn's brain is only about 25% of its adult weight at birth, while most other mammals are born having 60-90% of their adult brain size!

Neat huh? ;p

OK. On to mom.

As a woman, you've probably been warned about some of the major physical 'changes' of the early weeks after birth... (not to mention the emotional ones!):

Exhaustion. Emotions on a rampage. Huge, sore boobs. Bleeding for up to 6 weeks... back aches... weak stomach muscles... blah blah blah. (Well considering I had a C-Section I was completely out of commission when it came to lifting, cleaning, carrying etc... you know the basics, like sitting up on my own. Funny thing - Brad actually had to act like a hospital bed & LIFT me to a sitting position in order for me to get out of bed to feed my baby). But apparently women who have a vaginal delivery experience their own awfulness like: pain or numbness in the perineum... and some women also experience dry skin and even hair loss!! (Yeah guys... it's a pretty sexy experience this whole "being a mom thing".)

And THEN they talk about BABY BLUES or postnatal depression.... (which I gotta be honest, I don't personally understand. How can something SOO amazing make anyone feel blue??) But it happens. All the time. And it's normal. And maybe it's because I didn't really enjoy that whole 'being pregnant' thing, which meant I got to avoid depression because I was SOO relieved when my little one arrived? I dunno. But I have felt nothing but elation since my daughter was born.

In Conclusion:

Sooo... as you can see... the first 3 months of a baby's life is a HUGE transition for both mom AND baby. And that's why I felt it was important to write about :)

Cave Monkeys... and their reflexes ;p

Babies are so damn cute! (Well… ok. Most of them). They are these teensy-tiny, helpless, dependant, cuddly little beings whose day-to-day demands for the first 6 months seem pretty darn simple… Eat. Sleep. Pee. Poop. (Repeat). We think that it’s up to us, the parents, to keep them safe, teach them about life and introduce them to the world. Without us, these fragile creatures would be completely lost … but that’s not entirely true!! I was stunned when I had Veronica to learn how many primal and instinctive "things" she came pre-programmed with in order to ensure her survival… (Thanks Mother Nature).


**(Apologies in advance to all you practicing Catholics, but the rest of this blog refers to evolution… or hairy Adam & Eve’s… or whatever lets you sleep at night.)**

I’ve learned since being pregnant that babies are born with 5+ major ‘reflexes’. (But I’m just going to focus on my 5 favorite ones because they’re the most fun!)

#1: The ‘Rooting Reflex’ or the baby’s natural instinct to hunt for FOOD (aka: the boob). When Veronica was first put on my chest after my C-Section I was shaking uncontrollably from a mix of exhaustion, adrenaline & drugs. I couldn’t feel anything below my neck, let alone move my arms. (Man, it’s all such a blur!) The nurses kicked everyone (except Brad) out of the room and placed my baby skin-to-skin and told me to “nurse” her. I told her in some drugged up / exhausted way “I simply can’t” and she shrugged and said ‘yes you can’. And sure enough, my little baby started squiggling her way towards my breast. We had never met before, and she sure had never SEEN a boob before, yet she knew what she needed and how to get it. I started to cry. (Mind you, there was a lot of crying though during that first month!)

#2: The ‘Suck Reflex’ (again… food). Well, a woman may not produce much milk in those first 36 hours but that doesn’t mean your baby stops trying to get it!! Every 2-3 hours like clockwork Veronica was hungry… but thank goodness for those pre-natal classes that taught me not to stress about breastfeeding. Our instructor told us: “Human beings are the only creatures to actually doubt that they are producing enough milk to feed their babies…” and that totally stuck with me. So I just chillaxed about it… and we fed when we fed & I trusted that I was giving her what she needed… she latched eventually & man did she suckle!

#3: The ‘Step Reflex’ where the baby appears to take steps or dance when held upright with his/her feet touching a solid surface. Apparently the brain is coded to give the baby a reward of "happy" chemistry if it learns to stand. (Wow, cool right??!) A baby has this reflex even in the womb and it’s this reflex that the baby uses to push against the walls of the womb during the birthing process. I felt Miss V use this reflex about 5 bazillion times/day when preggers. (She tried - I’m sure - to use it in order for us to have a vaginal delivery, but unfortunately she got stuck in my pelvis.) And at about 7 weeks old she started to use this reflex out of sheer boredom I think. As she gets older she needs more stimulation, and sitting up / standing on my lap seems to do the trick! She's going to be a famous ballerina or gymnast (but not the f'd up kind..) I'm sure of it.

#4: The ‘Grasp Reflex’: where stroking the palm of a baby's hand causes the baby to close his/her fingers in a grasp. Pretty self-explanatory and I don’t really have a specific human example of this, except there is nothing like feeding your baby and having her grab at your hand or boob or finger. This reflex goes along with #5…. And back in the day as monkeys, the baby would rely on this reflex to hang on as Momma Monkey flew through the trees away from danger!

And… lastly…. my personal favorite…

#5: The ‘Startle Reflex” (aka “The Moro Reflex”). ‘The reflex response of an infant in which the limb and neck muscles contract when the infant is allowed to drop a short distance or is startled by a sudden noise or jolt’…. and it’s SOOOO funny!! Nothing was worse after cutting through my ab muscles than making me laugh… and V’s startle reflex was BEYOND hilarious!! We wound up lovingly calling it “SPROINGGGG” ‘cuz it looks like she’s throwing her arms and legs out of her body like they’re loaded springs.

The poor things appear to grab on to thin air for dear life. According to my online research, the baby is experiencing: “a newborn version of an adrenalin rush, similar to what an we experience on a roller coaster ride.” Other sites call it “An alarm reflex... A kind of sensation that she is all alone in the world for a split second, and her reaction (instantaneously grabbing for something to hold on to) is a protective mechanism, akin to the ‘fight or flight’ response.” This totally makes sense when you think of us as monkeys. (À la #4), when Momma Monkey is fleeing for safety, she needs something to hold on to so baby’s limbs go “SPROING!!”

With V, it happened more in the first few weeks-- at any abrupt noise, (crinkling paper and her own little farts were my personal favs ;p)… but it was the slamming of doors, SPROING! Whenever she was laid on a bed, (even softly!) SPROING! When the dogs started to bark, SPROING! When the vacuum cleaner started, SPROING! … Apparently it’s all to show that the baby’s muscles, hearing & reflexes are all working properly.
Whatever it is, it makes me laugh. So much that I have edited a video of various startle reflex footage I found online! (None of which are of my baby ‘cuz I can’t seem to predict when she’s going to do it anymore…)

Enjoy!

Veronica's first swim

HAS IT REALLY BEEN 7+ WEEKS??

Wow.

My goal was to start documenting Veronica’s life month by month… but funny thing this whole being a ‘mom’ thing-- there’s not much time in the day for everything you want and need to get done! When you feed your baby 8x/day (which pretty much equals 8 hours/day with feeding and pumping), feed the dogs 2x/day, walk everyone 4x/day… you quickly run out of the 24 hours.

Sooo that said, here’s a rundown of my past 7 weeks:

Weeks 1 & 2 V is definitely your typical newborn, and we are officially new parents! After spending 4 days recovering at the hospital due to my emergency C-Section, I’m now looking down the road to 6 weeks until full recovery. My mother in law flies in from Ontario and stays with us for 2+ weeks to help us get settled in & takes care of most of the cooking, cleaning & dog walking so that Brad & I can get some sleep and just adjust to being new parents.

Our main job is to keep an eye on V’s jaundice & get the yellow out of her skin & eyes by pumping her full of fluids to get her liver working. Unfortunately the day after we are discharged from the hospital we get a call that we have to go back to the hospital ☹ overnight to put V under the UV lights because her bilirubin levels were way up which meant her jaundice wasn’t improving on it’s own. I was a bit panicked about how she would react to the session, but turns out she LOVED it in the little incubator! A real sun baby for sure. Not like her mother!

Our other job is to get V back up to her birth weight. Babies always lose up to 10% of their birth weight during the first couple of days, so the goal is to get them back up to their birth weight during the first 10-14 days (especially important when jaundiced). V dropped from 7lbs 7oz, to 7lbs 1oz, (well within the 10%) but to make sure her liver starts to function properly they made us supplement my breast milk with formula, which I was a little upset with at first. It’s really important to both Brad and I to raise V on breast milk, and I didn’t want to have to use formula at all… however after discovering the peace of mind I had after watching her down 30ml of formula in a few hungry gulps, I decided that maybe the whole bottle / supplementing with formula thing was OK ☺

I started doing a combination of breast feeding, pumping and formula feeding to top up my milk production, but also so that Brad could join in the fun & bottle feed her. (It is really nice to see your husband cuddle and love your baby…) It’s also nice to physically see in a bottle how many ounces your baby is getting, so you can eliminate hunger when she starts to cry and get you on a good feeding schedule. (PS. The other great thing about getting to use stored breast milk & formula as back up? Wine. I can have WINE!!)

I didn’t know this before, but Public Health nurses make home visits after delivery to check up on the moms! Pretty cool. So the nurse comes to visit and weigh V and she is gaining weight and is looking less yellow & doing MORE than great! Within 2 weeks she is 8lbs 1 oz! There was some concern about one of her kidneys so she has an ultrasound at 2 weeks but turns out all is fine.

Week 3 & 4 Mom-in-law leaves Brad & I on our own, and I’m grateful he’s here to help with dog walking and night feedings. We spend lots of time visiting all of our friends & showing off our baby girl to all of her various aunties & uncles around town… we also spend some much deserved patio time at our home-away-from-home the Hurricane Grill!

Week 5 Brad goes back to work and reality hits… I’m suddenly on my own with our baby & 2 dogs. I lovingly start referring to us as the “Mear Family Circus” and everything I do takes at least an hour longer than it used to! Not to mention I discover the stroller does NOT fit in the trunk of our car so it now sits in the front seat… for the record, we are getting a new car. ASAP.

Also this week one of my best friends, Sarah Bannister, throws us a ‘meet & greet’ shower at her place in North Van & Little Miss V is spoiled rotten! I can’t wait until she fits into all the cute stuff she has to wear!!

Week 6 Brad is still at work and I’m adjusting pretty OK to walking the dogs with the stroller, but luckily they start doggy daycare 2 days/wk. V starts to have some unexpected, inconsolable what they call‘Purple’ crying fits, and is having more & more “awake time”… especially in the evenings. This is particularly awesome ‘cuz Brad gets to come home after a 12+ hour workday to a screaming child when he just wants to cuddle her. However, after much research I learn that she is right on track for newborn development & apparently the crying fits will become less frequent within the next month… we just have to get through these next few weeks.

Also this week we take the ‘circus’ on a 2-day trip to Ucluelet to visit my mom’s ashes at Black Rock, introducing her to Veronica, & to say goodbye to Auntie Christina who is moving back to Ottawa this month. ☹

Week 7 V is holding her head up more and more! And her standing / step reflex is kicking in. AND she is having more awake time & is an absolute angel… 90% of the day ;p She will be 8 weeks old on Thursday, 2 months on the 29th, and on Saturday I get to finally have the baby shower I missed because V was born so early! My mom’s best friend Karen Sundstrum is hosting it at her beautiful house in West Van which should be fun. Brad finishes work this week and we get him back for 3 weeks before his next contract ☺ We have some vacation time planned in Victoria & Penticton early July which will be so nice. She’ll get to meet some more of her extended family.

Bad news is that unfortunately our puppy Petunia has to have knee surgery on both her back knees this week and will be in casts… **sigh**… ah well… that is yet another adventure for yet another blog. ;p

All in all—I’m extremely grateful for many, many things. I’m grateful for the generous gift we received of pre-natal classes that helped prepare us for delivery & parenthood; I’m grateful that I got to spend 4 days at ‘hospital boot camp’ before being sent home on my own; I’m grateful that I have been told I’m a candidate for a C-Section & get to skip that whole awful labour thing for my next pregnancy; I’m grateful for public health nurse home visits; I’m grateful that my mother-in-law was able to come visit us & help for so long; I’m grateful for all of my supportive & loving family & friends; I’m grateful for my husband’s ability to provide for his family & be a loving father; I’m grateful for soothers & breast pumps & diaper genies & baby swings & vibrating chairs … but mostly I’m grateful for this amazing gift of a new life with my beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Veronica Vogues