25 Randoms about Nadia...

Note: (Originally posted on Facebook, shared in October 2014 for her daughter Veronica when she's all grown up.)
 
February 3, 2009 

OK-- so I normally don't do this kind of thing... but I think this is kinda interesting.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

25 random things.... 

1. My full birth name is Nadia Amber-Lillian Hovan. 'Amber' was the color of my hair when I was born & Lillian was my great grand-mother... (It was apparently a toss up between "Nadia" , "Veronica" -but my mom didn't want anyone calling me 'Ronnie' like in the Archie comic books... (?!) & "Tabatha-Katz" so that my nickname could be Tabby-Katz... (??!!?) Yes, my parents were hippies.

2. I have a secret desire to be a Country singer... I don't even listen to country music but I love singing it.. at least in my car.. and my shower if my walls weren't so thin.. (I would change my stage name to "Amber-Lil' ")

3. As kids, my brother used to call me "Sha-sha" because my mom was always saying "Nadia-- SHUSH UP!!" (I've always liked talking.)

4. I have 2 webbed toes on each foot. (My 2nd & 3rd toe are linked to the first knuckle) creepy I know. But get over it.

5. My dad AND my grandfather were both adopted so I don't know much about my heritage... I also don't really care to know much about my 'blood' heritage as a result of it. ('Hovan' has nothing to do with my genes.)

6. My favorite color is red.

7. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer in Nov. 2006 and it sucked a lot. Now I'll never know if I can have kids.

8. I use my maiden name (Nadia Hovan) as my stage name & my married name (Nadia Mear) for everything legal. (Call me sentimental-- or schizo!)

9. I didn't have a boyfriend from the time I graduated from highschool until I met Brad at 22. I got engaged at 23, married at 24, separated at 26 and then "renewed" my vows at 27... it's been a busy decade. (We're happy now :)

10. I love love LOVE horses and horseback riding, but I made the choice at age 13 to be involved with choir, drama & school plays instead of boarding a horse. (I also chose drama over volleyball.)

11. Although my hair was amber when I was born, my natural hair color has turned more 'ashy blonde' as I age, so I constantly have to dye it red.

12. I don't have a favorite band... only favorite cast recordings.

13. I am terrified of needles almost as much as I am terrified of commitment. That is the reason I have a belly button ring, 5 holes in my ears and no tattoos.

14. My first 'role' was as a Dwarfette in "Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs (& Dwarfettes)" at Balmoral Jr Summer Drama... I was 10. (That was also where I was introduced to Les Miz & I was hooped forever.)

15. My favorite musical of all time is "Les Miz"... I cry from beginning to end every time I see it and can sing every word. (If I played Fantine in London or New York before I died my life would be complete.)

16. I've never been bitten by the travel bug because I always knew my work would take me there... (funny how I haven't been anywhere since my parents took me traveling, but it's coming I know!)

17. I like naming pets after food. (Pumpkin... Peanut... I wanted a cat named Pineapple even though I don't like cats..)

18. My favorite author is Ottawa writer Charles de Lint. I am currently in the process of optioning one of his books with the film company I work for & we are turning it into a feature film.

19. I don't go to church. I was raised Catholic, but at age 13 my mom gave me the choice to either continue going to church or to stop. I chose to stop because there was one Christmas when I was 11 where the priest told us all that if we "didn't read the bible every night we'd go to hell"... I couldn't believe anyone could ever buy into that crap.

20. I collect fairies... (and anything fairy related) just like my mom. This is why my theatre company is called Feisty Fairy Productions.

21. I have a hard time stopping. Anything. Shopping, cleaning, eating, drinking... I'm OCD that way.. 

22. I love Christmas. If it was Christmas all year round, it would make me so happy!

23. I used to want to own a ranch in Wales... now it can be in Maple, Ontario or Niagara-on-the-Lake... wherever. I just want to own a ranch. With lots and lots of dogs and as many stray dogs as I can house...

24. I want to start an indoor dog playground with beds and jumps and toys and crazy stuff like when you watch "Super Dogs". I think given Vancouver weather, it would be a hit.

25. I want more than anything for ghosts and psychics any anything supernatural to be real. I used to fantasize about my pegasus picking me up from school and taking me away from reality. (I suppose I like escapism.)

My Parents' Bed.

Note: (Originally posted on Feb 20, 2013 on Facebook... wanted to document it here for my daughter in the future.)

 My Parents' Bed.

When I was a little girl, I used to love to crawl into my parents' bed. It was this epic, overwhelming feeling of massive pillows and blankets and comfort and security... Plus? I was wrapped between two people who loved me immensely.

My parents' bed smelled amazing. I guess that's because it smelled like them. It's probably the same 'kid-smell thing' that you experience when you don't want your mom to wash your favorite bunny or blankie or bear (or whatever your favorite toy is.) My parents' bed is that "memory smell" for me.

It's funny. Apart from jumping on it and playing on it, I have no memory of cuddling in that bed with my brother (although I'm 100% certain we did as we are only 26 months apart) in MY world, it was only ever me and my parents alone in the bed... Snuggles coming from both sides.

I remember crawling into that bed when I was feeling sick (this ranges from 6 or 7 to 16-17...) and the bed literally MADE me feel better. (It ALSO gave me chocolate chip mint ice cream, Liptons cuppa soup and "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves"--wait that may have been my mom).

Skip to an (awful) decade later... I remember sleeping in that bed in & out for two weeks as I cried, hugged and reminisced with my mom and dad as we battled (and eventually lost) my mom's fight with ovarian cancer.

And lastly, I remember sleeping in that bed when I was pregnant with Veronica during the 2010 Olympics. I was lying in bed when I came down with the flu and Brad rushed me to Lions Gate Hospital for monitoring. I was fine, and I found comfort returning to the bed for some restful recovery.

It's an intuitive bed. It's a comfortable bed. It's a 'safe bed'. It may not hold magic, it may not cure cancer, but it calms children's nightmares. And it lets you know when something's wrong, even if it cannot heal you.

SO. When my daughter says to me last night (in tears) that it's "unfair" that Daddy and I get to sleep together in our room and she's sad 'cuz she has to sleep by her "lonesome" in her own bed, I get it.

So tonight, (as I often do), I put her down in our bed, and transferred her into her own room after she passed out. But tonight (which sparked this post) as she was falling asleep she comfortably tossed and turned and hugged the big pillows and sleepily said "I love cozy... (yawn) pillows." and something about "having room" and then she found a comfy spot and passed out as I tickled her back.

She made me think of the comfort of my parents' bed. She must feel the same way about ours. A parents' bed is a safe haven for children, full of love and trust and familiar smells. I guess it's my duty to make sure OUR bed has the same lifelong feelings and memories that my parents' bed has for me. I hope that means something for you.

Good night everyone, sweet dreams and remember to snuggle your child tight xo

I just might eat a damn sandwich.

So this photo has been circulating on a lot of my friend's Facebook pages this week, and it made me stop and think. I thought about it a lot. To the point where I finally (obviously) had to write about it. Because after said thinking, mostly I've decided... I am an awful, awful, AWFUL human being.

I'm awful because I looked at the photo, and knew that I 'should' share it... because that would be the 'right' thing to do. It sends a great message: "Love your body." "Embrace your natural assets." "Every woman is beautiful." "It's OK to eat a sandwich!" But I didn't. I didn't because it would have been hypocritical of me to post it. Because I, like this photo suggests, have been brainwashed enough to actually look at the top row of women in the picture with envy and jealousy instead of disgust. Because I've been 'taught' to believe that skinnier IS better. That curves and lumps and cellulite and soft-aging-bodies and saggy boobs = ugly. And that ripped, skinny, tight, taught, 14 year old boy-like bodies = sexy. (OK, even I will admit that Nicole Richie is just plain gross... but Kiera?? Cummon! Look at those abs!)

Maybe I think this way due to my years in theater school where you had to wear tight dance clothes in front of mirrors all day long, only to have teachers critique, nitpick and pigeon-hole you into some sort of physical 'type'. Or maybe it's from the 10 years of actually being out there IN the theater/film/tv world, performing, auditioning and competing against a room full of skinny bitches, knowing that it's simply the reality of "Showbiz". The superficial world where you actually have to LOOK a certain way. ACT a certain way. BE a certain way in order to get cast. If you can't handle it, you should consider leaving the industry to those who can.

Or maybe it all runs deeper.

Maybe it's a result of something my Mom said to me when I was 14. I was standing in front of my bedroom mirror and she walked in and had that really 'proud mom' look on her face and said: "You are so beautiful... Look at yourself in this mirror." (I naturally didn't see what she was talking about.) "Look at your figure... and how amazing clothes look on you. You are so lucky. I'm telling you to appreciate it because you will never look this way again..." Or maybe it was when I was 17 and she poked at my slightly thicker teenage thighs and said "Cellulite? Where did that come from?? I never had it." Or at 18 when she said "You're really not in the right 'shape' to wear that dress.." or at 26 when she said "I'm really glad you lost that weight... your arms were starting to look thick."

"Thick".

Thanks mom. (And I mean no disrespect, she was an amazing, amazing, AMAZINGLY loving and supportive mother.. rest her soul)
I just mean that WORDS MATTER. They stick. And every day, aware or not, we are force fed those skinny bitches in the picture above in movies, on TV and in magazines. We are constantly led to believe that happiness is a result of thinness. The Golden Globes were a perfect example of that this year... did anyone SEE Angelina Jolie's arms?! Super gross. But.. flip side? She gets to be married to Brad Pitt. Damn. You win Angelina. I am still jealous of you.

I'm hardest on myself. I know we all are. I bet I can tell you, show you, probably even draw you in pencil crayon every flaw on my body. (My husband after 10 years just humours me now)... Because not even at my most obsessive have I ever felt like I have done 'enough'. I've never been skinny 'enough'. Fit 'enough'. Cut 'enough'. Even when it got to the point where my friends and family were trying to stuff sandwiches down my throat so that I would gain a pound or two... I felt I had a ways to go.

It's funny to think about those times now. Especially after having a baby 21 months ago, (so was pregnant for almost 10 months before that.) That's 31 LONG months of baby! But ever since having my angel I haven't had the focus - (focus? drive? time? need? energy? meh.) to obsessively get back into the 'shape' that I have been in in the past. (Don't get me wrong, I still go to the gym all the time. I teach group fitness. I'm still obsessed, I just have other things to DO now than focus on myself!)

And especially since I leave for Cancun in 2 days. I know that I won't be the skinniest one in the bikini... that's an ego blast. I'll just the one who "looks pretty damn good for a mom". And you know what? Over these past few days, after thinking and thinking and looking and looking at that picture above, I'm trying to convince myself that that's OK. I actually looked at myself after my shower yesterday and thought... "Yeah. I can live with this body. And I think I can even rock a bikini (and not just the tankinis that I hide behind when I feel fat!)"

So I'm coming to terms with the fact that you don't have to look 14 in order to be beautiful. You may not have skinny arms. And you MIGHT just be normal if you are cursed with having CELLULITE!

And I make a conscious daily effort to call my daughter 'smart' as well as 'beautiful'. I tell her she's 'polite' and 'sweet' and 'nice' as often as I do 'pretty'... And every night I tell her how much I love her and that she makes me so happy and that she's the most important little person in my life. (sure I make fun of a few of her baby flaws, but that's just part of being a mom I think!)

And yeah, there was a time in my life when I was 20 pounds lighter and looked like my 14 year old self again, but MAN was I HUNGRY! And since Hollywood is not breaking down my door with a contract to star opposite Brad Pitt, I guess I'll just eat a damn sandwich. (But hold the bread... you know, just in case ;p)

Eating Right for our type-- 4 weeks in...

... and I've gotta be honest. I'm abusing the whole "red wine is a benefit" thing. I think I'm on the 'Red Wine Diet' not the 'Eat Right For Your Type Diet'!! I don't think ANY weight loss program works when you consume a bottle of wine at the end of your day!! So I'm embarrassed to admit that my results aren't stellar, which would explain the lack of blogging about it.

I'm enjoying the diet in general, but to be fair, it's not that far off from how Brad and I eat when we're being "healthy" anyways! Lots of lean protein and soy products, lots of fruit, dried fruit and veggies.... and NO sugar. (haha except in wine!) Funny enough, when we first met Brad & I both joked about our ridiculous eating "quirks" that our families make fun of us for.... and this diet has just proven us right!! There are certain things that I noticed YEARS ago that I didn't digest well (peppers, chick peas, most beans, any meat other than chicken or turkey... etc etc) so I stopped eating them. (I haven't had any form of meat other than chicken & turkey & fish since 1999!!) And turns out they're all "avoids" for us anyway!

HOWEVER this whole 'no hot sauce' thing?? Killing us. That and the 'no vinegar thing'. Ever notice that vinegar is in EVERYTHING?!

That being said we are going to modify our diet slightly. Because cutting out hot sauce and vinegar are NOT going to be 2 things that we will do for the rest of our lives (although we WILL be more conscious of them now) we're going to re-introduce hot sauce. And if Brad has his way? BBQ sauce too.

Sooooooo here are my results after 4 weeks. I'm down 6 pounds in total and I'm down 5 inches all over. That includes bust, belly, midline (aka muffin top), hips, butt, thighs, calves, biceps and forearms. I still feel great but have about 7-10 more pounds to go until I feel FABULOUS! 4 weeks to do it!

PS-- this "Red Wine Diet" sounds very exciting! Maybe I will have to have an 8 week Red Wine challenge after this ;p Oh wait... I'm pretty much ON it right now aren't I? Crap.

Eating Right for our type - Week 1 complete!

Well I'm not going to lie... I feel better!

A combo of regular exercise, moderated drinking and healthy eating has made a HUGE difference in the way I feel this week. My numbers aren't as drastically different as I would have hoped, but I'm "down" none the less. So far I'm down a total of 4 lbs and 1 inch... I think that exercise is to blame for the minimal inches because I'm slowly re-building muscle as I lose fat, but hopefully next week's lost inches will be better!

The rest of the week was similar in eating to days 1-3... Lots of smoothies, peanut butter toast, chicken, veggie dogs, salads, quinoa, cous cous, fruit & veggies. The only difference was that I made these awesome kale chips & asparagus fries on Wednesday, and yesterday I ate salmon for lunch... YUM! Oh. And last night we may have indulged in a bit too much red wine ;p

This morning we had feta & veggie omelettes and organic turkey sausages... life is rough! Off to the gym now-- see you next week!

Eat Right for your Type Challenge- Our First Few Days!

Well so far so good!

On Saturday (Day 1) we went shopping and filled our fridge, freezer and cupboards with a couple hundred dollars worth of "A-type" friendly foods. Lots of veggies, fruit, beans, good cheeses, ancient grains... seems like this may not be too tough after all! (And we're certainly not hungry!)

However, the hardest things that are "Avoids" are 2 favorites of ours.... spicy food and sushi. We aren't allowed ANY PEPPERS! Not ground pepper, not jalapeno peppers, no red, green, yellow, orange normal peppers.. and DEFINITELY no Frank's Hot Sauce :( (We aren't allowed anything with vinegar in it so that takes out most condiments, dressings and mustards..) and then even worst, no TUNA! And no crab. So that = no California Rolls or Tuna Sashimi. These are going to be tough ones for us ;p

We are also not allowed any Aspartame (which is fine because it's bad for you anyway) but I do love my Coke Zero... instead I'm using Splenda (because Sucralose, Maltodextrin and Dextrose are "neutrals") and honey to sweeten my beverages :) Luckily Crush Cream Soda and Orange Crush both come made with Sucralose!

MEALS:

Day 1-

Breakfast: Peanut Butter on my favorite Squirrely Bread toast with coffee (almond milk & Splenda)

Lunch: Steamed Chicken on Spinach salad with a side of Ranch dressing (we were out at a restaurant with out-of-town-family and there were no "A type Friendly" dressing options) and a side of steamed veggies, soda/cranberry juice to drink

Snack: Apple

Dinner: Grilled chicken burgers with mozzarella cheese and our new FAVORITE vinegar-free mustard on top, a side of Zuccinni and mozzarella salad, 2 glasses of red wine!

-------

Day 2-

Breakfast: Smoothie with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, low-fat yogurt, almond milk and flax seeds. Coffee of course (almond Milk & Splenda)
Weekly Sunday Brunch with my family means eating out... so I got 2 poached eggs with Rye Toast. (the Rye had margarine on it which I'm not sure about because I know we're not supposed to do butter... next time I'll get dry toast)

Lunch: 2 Veggie Dogs (bun-less) with mozzarella cheese and our amazing vinegar-free mustard

Snack: 4 dried figs, Diet Crush Cream Soda

Dinner: Father's Day BBQ time!!! So I had 1/2 chicken breast (only 1/2 because we burnt it on the BBQ and it was gross!), around 1/2 cup of BBQ'd Teriyaki Salmon, and a side of quinoa salad. A few glasses of Red Wine to drink of course :)

-------

Day 3-

Breakfast: Smoothie with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, low-fat yogurt, almond milk and flax seeds. A piece of Squirrely Bread toast with Peanut Butter. Coffee to drink (almond milk & honey this time)

Exercise: Fit-4-Two Stroller Fit class, 1 hour.

Snack 1: 3 dried figs, small handful of unsalted almonds & dried blueberries

Lunch: Quinoa salad with broccoli, carrots, cucumber, onions, lemon, olive oil and garlic. Delicious!! (I added A-friendly curry spices on the leftovers)

Snack 2: 1 dried fig, small handful of unsalted almonds & dried blueberries, Diet Crush Cream Soda

Dinner: Lentil patties are on their way with a side salad...and of course red wine!

-------

3 days done out of 56! LOL

Eating Right For Your Blood Type - Our 8 week challenge

So the baby is over a year old, the hockey season is FINALLY over, our spring travels full of wine and delicious food have ended... and the bottom line is.... NO MORE EXCUSES! I'm STILL not back to my pre-baby weight and that needs to change.

Wonder why?? Hmmmm... maybe it's the countless bottles of wine I drank paired with pizza? Or the numerous pints of beer that I drank combined with pizza? Or the pizza I ate topped with pizza?? OORRRRR maybe it's the fact that I've been a total SLACKER this month! (OK so it's probably a combo of all of the above!) Regardless. Party's over. It's time to get back to reality. After all, who wants a fitness instructor with a jiggly pizza belly?? LOL

That said, Brad and I have decided to challenge ourselves to something we've always had an interest in, and part-time live by anyway... "Eat Right For Your Blood Type". Dr. Peter J D'Adamo released a book about this in 1996 and it has made him enormously famous. Quoted from his site: He is a "naturopathic physician noted for his popular books on the Blood Type Diet. His series of books suggest that appropriate diet and lifestyle depend in part on an individual's blood type. An acknowledged expert in naturopathic medicine, Dr. D'Adamo's numerous publications and bestselling books have greatly contributed to our understanding of dietary individuality." http://www.dadamo.com/

Luckily we are both A+ blood types, and so is Veronica (obviously), so we only need to make one recipe / meal.

And here we start.

I'm going to blog about this as daily or weekly as my schedule will allow, and update you with recipes and tips that we have loved / hated. I'm ALSO going to take my measurements today (before we cook our first meal after shopping), and weekly will let you know how my progress is going! (I can't promise that I'll get the same commitment from Brad considering he has to work on film sets who won't necessarily cater to his needs-- but we'll see ;p) It will be interesting to see how 'eating for your blood type' combined with a regimented work out schedule will change our overall appearances. It will also be interesting to see the difference between genders!

Saturday, June 18:
Day 1. Grocery Shopping for an "A Blood Type"!

I've downloaded an awesome app on my IPhone that lets us know the foods that are "Benefits, Neutrals and Avoids" for our A blood type. (Conveniently enough, it's called "Eat Right 4 Your Type" and is $3.99) It also offers a hundred delicious sounding recipes! We will shop with those lists and recipes and hopefully come up with something edible!

(Luckily it says that Red Wine is a 'Benefit' for our blood type... ;p In moderation of course!!)

Wish us luck!!