Cave Monkeys... and their reflexes ;p

Babies are so damn cute! (Well… ok. Most of them). They are these teensy-tiny, helpless, dependant, cuddly little beings whose day-to-day demands for the first 6 months seem pretty darn simple… Eat. Sleep. Pee. Poop. (Repeat). We think that it’s up to us, the parents, to keep them safe, teach them about life and introduce them to the world. Without us, these fragile creatures would be completely lost … but that’s not entirely true!! I was stunned when I had Veronica to learn how many primal and instinctive "things" she came pre-programmed with in order to ensure her survival… (Thanks Mother Nature).


**(Apologies in advance to all you practicing Catholics, but the rest of this blog refers to evolution… or hairy Adam & Eve’s… or whatever lets you sleep at night.)**

I’ve learned since being pregnant that babies are born with 5+ major ‘reflexes’. (But I’m just going to focus on my 5 favorite ones because they’re the most fun!)

#1: The ‘Rooting Reflex’ or the baby’s natural instinct to hunt for FOOD (aka: the boob). When Veronica was first put on my chest after my C-Section I was shaking uncontrollably from a mix of exhaustion, adrenaline & drugs. I couldn’t feel anything below my neck, let alone move my arms. (Man, it’s all such a blur!) The nurses kicked everyone (except Brad) out of the room and placed my baby skin-to-skin and told me to “nurse” her. I told her in some drugged up / exhausted way “I simply can’t” and she shrugged and said ‘yes you can’. And sure enough, my little baby started squiggling her way towards my breast. We had never met before, and she sure had never SEEN a boob before, yet she knew what she needed and how to get it. I started to cry. (Mind you, there was a lot of crying though during that first month!)

#2: The ‘Suck Reflex’ (again… food). Well, a woman may not produce much milk in those first 36 hours but that doesn’t mean your baby stops trying to get it!! Every 2-3 hours like clockwork Veronica was hungry… but thank goodness for those pre-natal classes that taught me not to stress about breastfeeding. Our instructor told us: “Human beings are the only creatures to actually doubt that they are producing enough milk to feed their babies…” and that totally stuck with me. So I just chillaxed about it… and we fed when we fed & I trusted that I was giving her what she needed… she latched eventually & man did she suckle!

#3: The ‘Step Reflex’ where the baby appears to take steps or dance when held upright with his/her feet touching a solid surface. Apparently the brain is coded to give the baby a reward of "happy" chemistry if it learns to stand. (Wow, cool right??!) A baby has this reflex even in the womb and it’s this reflex that the baby uses to push against the walls of the womb during the birthing process. I felt Miss V use this reflex about 5 bazillion times/day when preggers. (She tried - I’m sure - to use it in order for us to have a vaginal delivery, but unfortunately she got stuck in my pelvis.) And at about 7 weeks old she started to use this reflex out of sheer boredom I think. As she gets older she needs more stimulation, and sitting up / standing on my lap seems to do the trick! She's going to be a famous ballerina or gymnast (but not the f'd up kind..) I'm sure of it.

#4: The ‘Grasp Reflex’: where stroking the palm of a baby's hand causes the baby to close his/her fingers in a grasp. Pretty self-explanatory and I don’t really have a specific human example of this, except there is nothing like feeding your baby and having her grab at your hand or boob or finger. This reflex goes along with #5…. And back in the day as monkeys, the baby would rely on this reflex to hang on as Momma Monkey flew through the trees away from danger!

And… lastly…. my personal favorite…

#5: The ‘Startle Reflex” (aka “The Moro Reflex”). ‘The reflex response of an infant in which the limb and neck muscles contract when the infant is allowed to drop a short distance or is startled by a sudden noise or jolt’…. and it’s SOOOO funny!! Nothing was worse after cutting through my ab muscles than making me laugh… and V’s startle reflex was BEYOND hilarious!! We wound up lovingly calling it “SPROINGGGG” ‘cuz it looks like she’s throwing her arms and legs out of her body like they’re loaded springs.

The poor things appear to grab on to thin air for dear life. According to my online research, the baby is experiencing: “a newborn version of an adrenalin rush, similar to what an we experience on a roller coaster ride.” Other sites call it “An alarm reflex... A kind of sensation that she is all alone in the world for a split second, and her reaction (instantaneously grabbing for something to hold on to) is a protective mechanism, akin to the ‘fight or flight’ response.” This totally makes sense when you think of us as monkeys. (À la #4), when Momma Monkey is fleeing for safety, she needs something to hold on to so baby’s limbs go “SPROING!!”

With V, it happened more in the first few weeks-- at any abrupt noise, (crinkling paper and her own little farts were my personal favs ;p)… but it was the slamming of doors, SPROING! Whenever she was laid on a bed, (even softly!) SPROING! When the dogs started to bark, SPROING! When the vacuum cleaner started, SPROING! … Apparently it’s all to show that the baby’s muscles, hearing & reflexes are all working properly.
Whatever it is, it makes me laugh. So much that I have edited a video of various startle reflex footage I found online! (None of which are of my baby ‘cuz I can’t seem to predict when she’s going to do it anymore…)

Enjoy!

Veronica's first swim

HAS IT REALLY BEEN 7+ WEEKS??

Wow.

My goal was to start documenting Veronica’s life month by month… but funny thing this whole being a ‘mom’ thing-- there’s not much time in the day for everything you want and need to get done! When you feed your baby 8x/day (which pretty much equals 8 hours/day with feeding and pumping), feed the dogs 2x/day, walk everyone 4x/day… you quickly run out of the 24 hours.

Sooo that said, here’s a rundown of my past 7 weeks:

Weeks 1 & 2 V is definitely your typical newborn, and we are officially new parents! After spending 4 days recovering at the hospital due to my emergency C-Section, I’m now looking down the road to 6 weeks until full recovery. My mother in law flies in from Ontario and stays with us for 2+ weeks to help us get settled in & takes care of most of the cooking, cleaning & dog walking so that Brad & I can get some sleep and just adjust to being new parents.

Our main job is to keep an eye on V’s jaundice & get the yellow out of her skin & eyes by pumping her full of fluids to get her liver working. Unfortunately the day after we are discharged from the hospital we get a call that we have to go back to the hospital ☹ overnight to put V under the UV lights because her bilirubin levels were way up which meant her jaundice wasn’t improving on it’s own. I was a bit panicked about how she would react to the session, but turns out she LOVED it in the little incubator! A real sun baby for sure. Not like her mother!

Our other job is to get V back up to her birth weight. Babies always lose up to 10% of their birth weight during the first couple of days, so the goal is to get them back up to their birth weight during the first 10-14 days (especially important when jaundiced). V dropped from 7lbs 7oz, to 7lbs 1oz, (well within the 10%) but to make sure her liver starts to function properly they made us supplement my breast milk with formula, which I was a little upset with at first. It’s really important to both Brad and I to raise V on breast milk, and I didn’t want to have to use formula at all… however after discovering the peace of mind I had after watching her down 30ml of formula in a few hungry gulps, I decided that maybe the whole bottle / supplementing with formula thing was OK ☺

I started doing a combination of breast feeding, pumping and formula feeding to top up my milk production, but also so that Brad could join in the fun & bottle feed her. (It is really nice to see your husband cuddle and love your baby…) It’s also nice to physically see in a bottle how many ounces your baby is getting, so you can eliminate hunger when she starts to cry and get you on a good feeding schedule. (PS. The other great thing about getting to use stored breast milk & formula as back up? Wine. I can have WINE!!)

I didn’t know this before, but Public Health nurses make home visits after delivery to check up on the moms! Pretty cool. So the nurse comes to visit and weigh V and she is gaining weight and is looking less yellow & doing MORE than great! Within 2 weeks she is 8lbs 1 oz! There was some concern about one of her kidneys so she has an ultrasound at 2 weeks but turns out all is fine.

Week 3 & 4 Mom-in-law leaves Brad & I on our own, and I’m grateful he’s here to help with dog walking and night feedings. We spend lots of time visiting all of our friends & showing off our baby girl to all of her various aunties & uncles around town… we also spend some much deserved patio time at our home-away-from-home the Hurricane Grill!

Week 5 Brad goes back to work and reality hits… I’m suddenly on my own with our baby & 2 dogs. I lovingly start referring to us as the “Mear Family Circus” and everything I do takes at least an hour longer than it used to! Not to mention I discover the stroller does NOT fit in the trunk of our car so it now sits in the front seat… for the record, we are getting a new car. ASAP.

Also this week one of my best friends, Sarah Bannister, throws us a ‘meet & greet’ shower at her place in North Van & Little Miss V is spoiled rotten! I can’t wait until she fits into all the cute stuff she has to wear!!

Week 6 Brad is still at work and I’m adjusting pretty OK to walking the dogs with the stroller, but luckily they start doggy daycare 2 days/wk. V starts to have some unexpected, inconsolable what they call‘Purple’ crying fits, and is having more & more “awake time”… especially in the evenings. This is particularly awesome ‘cuz Brad gets to come home after a 12+ hour workday to a screaming child when he just wants to cuddle her. However, after much research I learn that she is right on track for newborn development & apparently the crying fits will become less frequent within the next month… we just have to get through these next few weeks.

Also this week we take the ‘circus’ on a 2-day trip to Ucluelet to visit my mom’s ashes at Black Rock, introducing her to Veronica, & to say goodbye to Auntie Christina who is moving back to Ottawa this month. ☹

Week 7 V is holding her head up more and more! And her standing / step reflex is kicking in. AND she is having more awake time & is an absolute angel… 90% of the day ;p She will be 8 weeks old on Thursday, 2 months on the 29th, and on Saturday I get to finally have the baby shower I missed because V was born so early! My mom’s best friend Karen Sundstrum is hosting it at her beautiful house in West Van which should be fun. Brad finishes work this week and we get him back for 3 weeks before his next contract ☺ We have some vacation time planned in Victoria & Penticton early July which will be so nice. She’ll get to meet some more of her extended family.

Bad news is that unfortunately our puppy Petunia has to have knee surgery on both her back knees this week and will be in casts… **sigh**… ah well… that is yet another adventure for yet another blog. ;p

All in all—I’m extremely grateful for many, many things. I’m grateful for the generous gift we received of pre-natal classes that helped prepare us for delivery & parenthood; I’m grateful that I got to spend 4 days at ‘hospital boot camp’ before being sent home on my own; I’m grateful that I have been told I’m a candidate for a C-Section & get to skip that whole awful labour thing for my next pregnancy; I’m grateful for public health nurse home visits; I’m grateful that my mother-in-law was able to come visit us & help for so long; I’m grateful for all of my supportive & loving family & friends; I’m grateful for my husband’s ability to provide for his family & be a loving father; I’m grateful for soothers & breast pumps & diaper genies & baby swings & vibrating chairs … but mostly I’m grateful for this amazing gift of a new life with my beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Veronica Vogues

Miss V... the drama queen.

LET’S GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT….

♫ Let's give them something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love ♫





I’m not quite sure what Bonnie Raitt has to do with this, but the sentiment is appropriate ☺


So world… I’m a “MOM”. Yup that’s right. I officially got the job as “PARENT” at 5:17pm on April 29th. The #1-most important-yet-they-give-you-no-life-training-for-it job in the world… and I possess it. Jealous yet? You should be! You would think that given the seriousness of a job of this size, there would be a more intricate interview process, but after much research it seems that almost any one of us out there with the right ‘equipment’ are eligible for the position. Who knew ;p

It was quite the lead up to my little baby Veronica’s birth! If you’ve read any of my other blogs you’ll know I had been whining to friends and family and begging the ‘powers that be’ for an early delivery because I was kinda 'done' with that whole ‘pregnancy’ thing… and boy did someone listen! Now, I don’t know if it was my mom working some after-life magic for me, or whether I just married into the right family for it (my brother-in-law & his wife had their beautiful baby girl in December, and our labors pretty much mimicked each other), but whatever it was.... someone out there listened to my pleas and gave me my little girl over 2 weeks early!

You may see from my last blog posting that I was officially full term / 37 weeks on Sunday, April 25th, but not technically ‘due’ for my 40 week delivery on May 15th. (On a side note, I don’t know if you know this but they don’t start inducing labor until 10 days after your due date?? Ya.. Sucks.) Soooo, I was looking down the barrel at delivering somewhere between “any day now” and "a month from now”.

I posted some belly pix on Facebook on Monday the 26th showing off my ‘larger-than-a-bump’ baby bump, and on Tues had a doctors appointment and yet another ultrasound to double check baby’s positioning and my placenta. (This was ultrasound #5 if you count my two 3-D ultrasounds!) But better safe than sorry… if my placenta was in the way of baby’s head then that would mean automatic C-Section, but everything looked good… Baby V’s head was down and ready to go whenever she thought she could!

And it seemed she thought she ‘could’ the next morning, Wed April 27th around 6am. At least, that’s when my water broke. Now, only 7-10% of pregnancies start with a woman’s water breaking, so I wasn’t 100% sure that that was exactly what had happened… initially I had convinced myself that maybe I had lost control of my bladder (which also happens to a certain degree in pregnancies)… but by 9am when I tried to take the dogs out and had already changed my pants 4 times I was pretty sure that no one could have to pee that much in one morning. So I woke up Brad with the news. He was scheduled to work on set that day, so we carried on and I sent him off to work saying I’d fill him in as soon as I knew for sure. By noon, I had been to the doctor, picked Brad up from set and some mild cramping had started… my doctor confirmed that my water broke alright... and holy crap! I was going to be in full fledged labor within 24 hours!!

“But what about the application deadline you were on?” You might ask. “What about finishing the nursery?”… both good questions my detail oriented friends! ;p Well, I started mild labor early afternoon, finished the work for the application (which went out the door via FedEx on Friday finally, yay!) and the nursery is a work in progress... still! ☺

It's kinda funny the way that labour goes down. You think you have these 'plans' and you think that you've prepared yourself enough because you've taken these 'classes' and read 'the books', but you really don't know anything until you're IN it.

As I said, my water broke 6am on Wed, so my doctor scheduled me to be admitted into the hospital at 7am the next morning (April 29th) to induce me in case I didn't go into labour on my own. BUT, by Wed afternoon I was experiencing mild contractions, I went to my dad's in North Van to watch a movie with Brad, by 1am the contractions were manageable (but pretty damn bad by my standards), and by 3am I was on the phone with the hospital saying that 'I really needed to come in now for drugs'. Contractions were 8 mins apart and although they suggest you don't show up until they are between 3-5 mins apart, I was so uncomfortable & restless & overall scared at home that we went to the hospital.

Of course, they hook me up to all these crazy machines for 10 minutes, I don't have a single contraction the whole time, and now I just look like a big faker! Eventually I get my 'laughing gas' (which I puke everywhere and discover I HATE.) and a shot of morphine (which I also discover I hate..), and then FINALLY the God of all Gods comes in at 9am... the anesthesiologist!! My doctor checks me and I'm almost 4cm dilated...Ahhhh!!! it's time for my epidural :)

After the epidural, life is so SO grand :) I went from convulsing and crying and moaning all while hanging on to Brad's neck saying "I really don't think I can do this... I really don't think I can do this..." to giggling with my friends and family watching my monitor saying "Wow, that was a contraction??!!" By noon I was getting my girlfriend Christina to put some makeup on me so that I wouldn't look so haggard during my delivery!

Shortly after, the fun began. I started to show signs of 'pushing' around 12:30pm on Thurs. I was 8cm dilated (you're ready to go at 10cm) and baby V's head was dropped. They slowed me off of my drugs so that I could start to 'feel' where I was to be pushing, and it was heavy on my bladder and everything else below (but for the record, not nearly the same pain it was without the epidural!!) Still, "ugh". But then I started pushing and my doctors & nurses were like "hmmm.... can you stop pushing now?" And then they muttered a lot to each other and checked me some more and put me back on my drugs. (What?!) And then an hour later they checked everything again and were like "Ok, can you try pushing now?" and so I tried, then they were like "OK, ya don't."............... ?!?!?!? By this time I was getting pretty miserable because I had been up and doing this for over 30 hours. The next time they all came in they also called in the OBGYN surgeon on call, which is never a good thing. Within seconds after examining me, she said... "You're not going to like what I have to say...." and the whole room's energy dropped...

Gulp. "C-Section".

Apparently I was now only 9.5cm and should have been 10 by now. I was extremely swollen from all the pushing, but the baby's health was the major concern. Her head was pretty stuck in my pelvis because it was so swollen, (we found out later she was facing sideways & couldn't find her way down poor thing..) and her heart rate was beginning to stress, and that = emergency C-Section. They would have her out in 1/2 an hour.

So, Brad scrubbed in, my family got kicked out, they upped my drugs and got me all numb, and I got to hold my beautiful baby Veronica shortly after 5:17pm that day... April 29th!

IN SUMMARY!! (This is the Cole's Notes version of what happened...) I went into labor 3 days after I was 37 weeks (full term)— I was in labour for 35 hours and then after all of that, had to have an emergency C-Section due to complications with the positioning of the baby. I could have just scheduled that damn surgery and skipped that whole awful labour thing altogether!! **Sigh**

Anywhoooo.... the rest is a blur! Recovery for C-Section is 6 weeks, but I'm up and attem' and feeling really good actually. My baby is amazing, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. There is very little else I've experienced in life that is better than this... (the closest I can compare is raising my puppies ;p) But life is so fun and so much better with little V here, and having my little girl OUTSIDE my belly instead of INSIDE is WAY better!!

For those of you walking the "should we / shouldn't we" decision line, I STRONGLY suggest you SHOULD have a baby. They are far too cute to not have in your life, and if you know me, you know I haven't been this way until now!! I seriously cry tears of happiness almost every time I look at her. I am so in love with my little girl.

xoxo N

My new favorite quote that I got for mommy's day...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

Before I was a mom....

Well, this is my very first Mother's Day. My baby V decided to come early to celebrate the day with me... and I couldn't be happier.

This was an email forward from my Ontario family (thanks Terry / Mom Maraldo!) for Mother's Day and I loved it so much I wanted to share it here.








BEFORE I WAS A MOM


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.