Urban Baby

--- If there's one thing my husband and I said when we were talking about getting pregnant, it was that no matter what, a baby was NEVER going to change our lifestyle. So... 8 months in, how are we doing so far? Well, I'll let you decide!---

(This post is inspired by a newspaper article that I was tagged in on Facebook where a woman wrote in to a columnist complaining that her friends with kids were no longer accessible and / or interested in making time for her anymore. Her letter was beyond selfish and ridiculous, but the response from the Columnist was also far from satisfactory to me... it was extremely specific to a certain 'type' of parent... the kind that actually DO change their lives 100% once they have kids. Well, sorry folks, but we are NOT those parents.)

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My husband Brad & I have always been downtown-living, patio-sitting, dog-loving, social people. And although the idea of having kids seemed like a good one in theory, (well-- maybe in a few years) we both felt too happy and selfish to give up everything that we had spent the past 7 years building together. We already had 2 dogs... wasn't our family big enough? We did the 'adopt an adult dog thing', and then we did the 'puppy thing' -- which is sort of the same as having a baby, right? Besides, once we had kids wouldn't we need a bigger place? One with a yard? Wouldn't we need more storage? And a mini-van? Maybe a nice big house with a 2-car garage so we both could have some freedom? Because I think that if you add up all of the above, we would have to move out of our beautiful 2+ bedroom Yuppy Yaletown condo into (gulp I can barely even stand to write it...) **SUBURBIA**?? (Ak. Spit. Shudder.)

But all that useless speculation became reality when I found out I was pregnant after a ridiculous summer of partying, drinking and hot tubbing. (Holy crap!) So that was that. GONE were the fun weekends away and the summers of sitting on patios... GONE were the nights of partying with friends... GONE were the days of spontaneity and independence and dinners out and nice clothes and flat ironed hair... RIGHT?? Because now there were more important things to do. There were diapers to pay for, and school to plan for, and college funds to save for... not to mention all the cooking, cleaning, laundry... and oh yeah. What about that second kid we talked about??

(Ha ha. ANYONE who knows me would think the above was pretty damn funny ;p Cook? Me? And aren't there people you can PAY to clean your condo for you?) ;p

So what happened? You guessed it. We didn't change a thing. Well... Almost. ;p

OK, so maybe now I go to bed a little earlier since I'm up at 3am & 5am & 7am tending to a fussy baby... and maybe my blow drier and flat iron only come out once/month... and maybe now our living room resembles a children's toy store... and maybe our spare bedroom is decorated in fairies and has a crib, baby clothes and hundreds of toys in it... and maybe I have had to join the infamous 'Mom & Baby Fitness groups' since I can't take a fussy baby to our condo gym... and maybe I have to be home twice/day for 'nap time'... and maybe we don't see as many movies anymore... and maybe now we have to sit on the "Family Friendly" side of our favorite bars & restaurants because Vancouver has stupid liquor laws... and maybe our 'date nights' cost twice as much because we need to hire a sitter... and maybe we DID have to upgrade our 2-door convertible to a 7-seat Crossover...

BUT OVERALL, we have stayed true to our original intentions, and have not let having a baby drastically change our Urban lifestyle! We still go out for our morning coffees and dog walks and eat out a few times a week and go shopping and drink copious amounts of wine on patios with friends... we just bring our baby with us! We still crash at friend's houses over the weekends and have actually traveled more this year than ever... Brad and I have both separately been to Las Vegas this year, and Veronica has come with us to Victoria, Nanaimo, Tofino, Bellingham, Toronto (twice!), Muskoka, London (Ontario), Cuba... and we are heading on a Caribbean Cruise at the end of January!

So what does all of this mean exactly? It means that you CAN be a happy, downtown Urban family. And I'm relieved to know that it IS possible to have a social life AND be a parent. And from what we've learned, all it takes is a laid back attitude and a really big diaper bag.

And what about that "Second Kid" you ask...? "What will you do then?" I have absolutely no idea. Everyone keeps saying "Well... you're not going to get to do THAT for much longer..." And yet funny enough? Somehow, we do! So I guess we'll just face those "future obstacles" as they begin to present themselves.... and in the meantime I'll keep an eye out for a 3+ bedroom condo in Yaletown... with a yard! ;p

The Mear Family Circus

Veronica's First Christmas!

Veronica's first DATE with Ethan (& Petunia chaperones...)

FIT 4 TWO-- Stroller Moms

I can't believe it's taken me this long to blog about this!! After all -- fitness, diet & being skinny have all been (borderline unhealthy) obsessions of mine since I decided to go into the theatre / film world... and getting back into shape became my biggest concern the first day I suspected I was pregnant. And I gotta tell you - this is the hardest weight I've ever had to lose in my life! I WAS going to blog about Weight Gain & how to deal with it Pre & Postnatal... but I figured I'd combine it with a plug for the amazing organization that is "Fit 4 Two".

(I hope the ladies don't mind that I scooped this pic off the Fit 4 Two website!!)

Sooo you can just picture it, right? You're sitting with your hubby & 2 dogs, having some brekkie & your morning coffee on the 'Bo Jangles' patio in Marinaside / Yaletown when all of a sudden-- they appear around the corner. An ENTOURAGE of Moms, pushing their strollers along the seawall. They're laughing and talking about men & babies & other random mom stuff, and even though some of their babies are screaming bloody murder, they're doing LUNGES. Yup. That's what I said. LUNGES. Squats. Push ups. You name it, they're doing it. Right there in the middle of the seawall.

So you giggle. And you make fun a little bit. And you may even try to snap a photo because it's just so surreal to see! And you vow, that if you were ever to be a Yaletown mom, you would NEVER be so Yuppy as to join them.

UNTIL... you have a 12-week-old. And you're sitting on the patio by yourself now (because you're on maternity leave and your husband is not) with your sleeping newborn baby & 2 puppies. And a group of Stroller Moms come in for coffee after their class -- laughing & talking about the class & other random mom stuff that you now suddenly 'get'-- and you realize something you didn't think about before... they're all getting fit. AND they have friends! Or at least someone to talk to.

At least, that was my turning point! Once Veronica was 12-weeks-old and Brad was back at work full time, I started to crave some 'adult interaction'. I'm the first out of many of my friends to have a baby-- definitely the only one living downtown... so I started to feel a bit alone during the day and I was going STIR CRAZY!! I would go to the dog park 4x/day, the coffee shop every morning & the 'Hurricane Grill' in the afternoon JUST so that I could talk to the waitresses!! (Anyone who has ever had a baby knows that at the beginning they sleep a lot.) I was having a LOT of 'alone time'. And yet, I couldn't go to the gym! The second I'd get down there Veronica would fuss & I wasn't going to be 'that person'. I would sit & mope at all my local hangouts about the fact that I couldn't get rid of my baby weight-- (and breast feeding alone wasn't doing it for me folks). Something needed to change.

And so I found it. The organization is called 'Fit 4 Two' and my first class was 'Stroller Fitness'. (Who'd have thought there was such a thing??) I had been 'flyered' in 'Bo Jangles' by one of the Stroller Moms when V was about 10 days old & the nice girl who gave me the flyer was like "Oh... well, maybe you'll want to wait a few more weeks" and inside my head I was like "Uh, yeah-- never." But I smiled politely & took the flyer. BUT- I kept it by my computer, and on that life changing Friday-- I emailed the instructor (Melanie) and committed to going to class that following Monday.

And I haven't looked back! Now, 15 lbs lighter, and more sane than ever, Veronica and I take "Mom & Baby Fitness" at the Roundhouse Community Center Mon/Wed and have graduated from "Stroller Fit" to "Stroller Bootcamp" Tues, Thurs. Fri! I still have some trimming to do but I'm well on my way. AND I have a group of like-minded people who are all going through the same thing as me. I couldn't be more grateful.

Link to Fit 4 Two below in case you're interested!

http://www.fit4two.ca/

Veronica Giggles at 6 months

Veronica in her Jolly Jumper :)

So my little monkey is 6 months old huh??

Who'd have thought it could go so fast?? Or that I would love it so much? My little monkey is officially 6 months + 1 day old today, and it's all such a blur!!

Halloween is tomorrow and she's been sporting her monkey outfit every day this weekend. Daddy gets home tonight from his crazy adventures in Las Vegas just in time to take his little girl 'Trick or Treating' tomorrow. We're going to do the Yaletown Costume Parade followed by a trip to North Van so that we can see our God Daughters Anika & Lene in costume.. too cute :) I'm suddenly SUCH a mom!!

Milestones these past few months include discovering hands and toes, rolling over, using her sippy cup, eating solids: rice cereal & rice crackers & the occasional other food I shove in her mouth ;p (Like melons & Pumpkin Pie & whipped cream today!! V is much more of a fan of Whipped Cream for the record ;p) She decidedly plays with one toy over another, and needs to shove EVERYTHING into her mouth :) The Bumbo is our new best friend and comes with us almost everywhere now because Miss V needs to be part of the action but is too small for a highchair... She has developed an amazing giggle and we love to tickle her into laughing fits :) She's such a little person now! She talks up a storm & makes everyone smile that comes into contact with her.

We are hoping she wins "Vancouver's Cutest Kid" but are just proud she made Top 20! WE know she's the cutest... but can't be bothered with the competing politics... (I've never been one for competition.)

She seems to recognize her name... "Monk-a-roo" or 'Monkey" ;p Some day I'm sure she'll realize her name is really VERONICA!!

Ahhh babies :)

Great Grandpa & Baby V on Thanksgiving 2010

Ain't it the truth?? ;p

Princess Ballerina Veronica at 5+ months!

The Fourth Trimester...

Picture this:

Setting: Your place
Time Period: Present Day
Tone: Exhaustion mixed with Elation


You arrive home from the hospital on a high you've never experienced before after some of the most painful and miraculous days of your life. A new tiny person rules the roost, demanding all of your attention day and night. Your body is completely unrecognizable -- flabby in places it once was firm, painful and tender in places that once felt amazing and sensitive. You are tired all the time, and sometimes inexplicably emotional. But things should be back to normal soon right?? - After all, you're not pregnant anymore.


Setting #2: "The Womb"
Time Period: Ummm... What is "time" exactly??
Tone: Confusion and hunger... mixed with a little bit of gas.


There you are, barely 37 weeks old and all warm & snuggly in the womb. Suddenly you are wrenched from the only home you've ever known and thrown into the cold and unfamiliar outside world. You are handled by giants and shoved into clothes, a carseat and a crib. All of this... and it's still 3 more months until you have any clue what's going on.

THIS... is "The Fourth Trimester".

It's the transitional three months after a baby is born where "Women" become "Mothers", and "Fetuses" become "Babies". It's an extremely dramatic and emotional time for all.

And I'm not being cheeky! Actually, the term "The Fourth Trimester" is commonly used among medical folk. (Google it ;p) Scientists say that when primitive women evolved to stand up on two legs, the shape of the female pelvis became narrower and resulted in human babies being born 3-4 months earlier than they were supposed to have been... this is so that their heads didn't grow too large to pass safely through the birth canal! (Crazy right?!)

For this reason, some experts say human babies need the first three months of life to give their brain and central nervous system the time needed to mature. In the course of those three months, an 'infant' develops into a 'baby' who is able to respond to the outside world. Breathing starts to regulate. They are able to lift their heads, smile, coo, develop social interactions, and begin to soothe themselves.

This is why babies are so dependent on their parents-- for basic SURVIVAL. Compared to other mammals (like cows and horses) that are born with survival instincts that allow them to get up and walk or run as soon as they are born, human infants are RIDICULOUSLY more fragile and vulnerable at birth.

** STAT ** The human newborn's brain is only about 25% of its adult weight at birth, while most other mammals are born having 60-90% of their adult brain size!

Neat huh? ;p

OK. On to mom.

As a woman, you've probably been warned about some of the major physical 'changes' of the early weeks after birth... (not to mention the emotional ones!):

Exhaustion. Emotions on a rampage. Huge, sore boobs. Bleeding for up to 6 weeks... back aches... weak stomach muscles... blah blah blah. (Well considering I had a C-Section I was completely out of commission when it came to lifting, cleaning, carrying etc... you know the basics, like sitting up on my own. Funny thing - Brad actually had to act like a hospital bed & LIFT me to a sitting position in order for me to get out of bed to feed my baby). But apparently women who have a vaginal delivery experience their own awfulness like: pain or numbness in the perineum... and some women also experience dry skin and even hair loss!! (Yeah guys... it's a pretty sexy experience this whole "being a mom thing".)

And THEN they talk about BABY BLUES or postnatal depression.... (which I gotta be honest, I don't personally understand. How can something SOO amazing make anyone feel blue??) But it happens. All the time. And it's normal. And maybe it's because I didn't really enjoy that whole 'being pregnant' thing, which meant I got to avoid depression because I was SOO relieved when my little one arrived? I dunno. But I have felt nothing but elation since my daughter was born.

In Conclusion:

Sooo... as you can see... the first 3 months of a baby's life is a HUGE transition for both mom AND baby. And that's why I felt it was important to write about :)

Cave Monkeys... and their reflexes ;p

Babies are so damn cute! (Well… ok. Most of them). They are these teensy-tiny, helpless, dependant, cuddly little beings whose day-to-day demands for the first 6 months seem pretty darn simple… Eat. Sleep. Pee. Poop. (Repeat). We think that it’s up to us, the parents, to keep them safe, teach them about life and introduce them to the world. Without us, these fragile creatures would be completely lost … but that’s not entirely true!! I was stunned when I had Veronica to learn how many primal and instinctive "things" she came pre-programmed with in order to ensure her survival… (Thanks Mother Nature).


**(Apologies in advance to all you practicing Catholics, but the rest of this blog refers to evolution… or hairy Adam & Eve’s… or whatever lets you sleep at night.)**

I’ve learned since being pregnant that babies are born with 5+ major ‘reflexes’. (But I’m just going to focus on my 5 favorite ones because they’re the most fun!)

#1: The ‘Rooting Reflex’ or the baby’s natural instinct to hunt for FOOD (aka: the boob). When Veronica was first put on my chest after my C-Section I was shaking uncontrollably from a mix of exhaustion, adrenaline & drugs. I couldn’t feel anything below my neck, let alone move my arms. (Man, it’s all such a blur!) The nurses kicked everyone (except Brad) out of the room and placed my baby skin-to-skin and told me to “nurse” her. I told her in some drugged up / exhausted way “I simply can’t” and she shrugged and said ‘yes you can’. And sure enough, my little baby started squiggling her way towards my breast. We had never met before, and she sure had never SEEN a boob before, yet she knew what she needed and how to get it. I started to cry. (Mind you, there was a lot of crying though during that first month!)

#2: The ‘Suck Reflex’ (again… food). Well, a woman may not produce much milk in those first 36 hours but that doesn’t mean your baby stops trying to get it!! Every 2-3 hours like clockwork Veronica was hungry… but thank goodness for those pre-natal classes that taught me not to stress about breastfeeding. Our instructor told us: “Human beings are the only creatures to actually doubt that they are producing enough milk to feed their babies…” and that totally stuck with me. So I just chillaxed about it… and we fed when we fed & I trusted that I was giving her what she needed… she latched eventually & man did she suckle!

#3: The ‘Step Reflex’ where the baby appears to take steps or dance when held upright with his/her feet touching a solid surface. Apparently the brain is coded to give the baby a reward of "happy" chemistry if it learns to stand. (Wow, cool right??!) A baby has this reflex even in the womb and it’s this reflex that the baby uses to push against the walls of the womb during the birthing process. I felt Miss V use this reflex about 5 bazillion times/day when preggers. (She tried - I’m sure - to use it in order for us to have a vaginal delivery, but unfortunately she got stuck in my pelvis.) And at about 7 weeks old she started to use this reflex out of sheer boredom I think. As she gets older she needs more stimulation, and sitting up / standing on my lap seems to do the trick! She's going to be a famous ballerina or gymnast (but not the f'd up kind..) I'm sure of it.

#4: The ‘Grasp Reflex’: where stroking the palm of a baby's hand causes the baby to close his/her fingers in a grasp. Pretty self-explanatory and I don’t really have a specific human example of this, except there is nothing like feeding your baby and having her grab at your hand or boob or finger. This reflex goes along with #5…. And back in the day as monkeys, the baby would rely on this reflex to hang on as Momma Monkey flew through the trees away from danger!

And… lastly…. my personal favorite…

#5: The ‘Startle Reflex” (aka “The Moro Reflex”). ‘The reflex response of an infant in which the limb and neck muscles contract when the infant is allowed to drop a short distance or is startled by a sudden noise or jolt’…. and it’s SOOOO funny!! Nothing was worse after cutting through my ab muscles than making me laugh… and V’s startle reflex was BEYOND hilarious!! We wound up lovingly calling it “SPROINGGGG” ‘cuz it looks like she’s throwing her arms and legs out of her body like they’re loaded springs.

The poor things appear to grab on to thin air for dear life. According to my online research, the baby is experiencing: “a newborn version of an adrenalin rush, similar to what an we experience on a roller coaster ride.” Other sites call it “An alarm reflex... A kind of sensation that she is all alone in the world for a split second, and her reaction (instantaneously grabbing for something to hold on to) is a protective mechanism, akin to the ‘fight or flight’ response.” This totally makes sense when you think of us as monkeys. (À la #4), when Momma Monkey is fleeing for safety, she needs something to hold on to so baby’s limbs go “SPROING!!”

With V, it happened more in the first few weeks-- at any abrupt noise, (crinkling paper and her own little farts were my personal favs ;p)… but it was the slamming of doors, SPROING! Whenever she was laid on a bed, (even softly!) SPROING! When the dogs started to bark, SPROING! When the vacuum cleaner started, SPROING! … Apparently it’s all to show that the baby’s muscles, hearing & reflexes are all working properly.
Whatever it is, it makes me laugh. So much that I have edited a video of various startle reflex footage I found online! (None of which are of my baby ‘cuz I can’t seem to predict when she’s going to do it anymore…)

Enjoy!

Veronica's first swim

HAS IT REALLY BEEN 7+ WEEKS??

Wow.

My goal was to start documenting Veronica’s life month by month… but funny thing this whole being a ‘mom’ thing-- there’s not much time in the day for everything you want and need to get done! When you feed your baby 8x/day (which pretty much equals 8 hours/day with feeding and pumping), feed the dogs 2x/day, walk everyone 4x/day… you quickly run out of the 24 hours.

Sooo that said, here’s a rundown of my past 7 weeks:

Weeks 1 & 2 V is definitely your typical newborn, and we are officially new parents! After spending 4 days recovering at the hospital due to my emergency C-Section, I’m now looking down the road to 6 weeks until full recovery. My mother in law flies in from Ontario and stays with us for 2+ weeks to help us get settled in & takes care of most of the cooking, cleaning & dog walking so that Brad & I can get some sleep and just adjust to being new parents.

Our main job is to keep an eye on V’s jaundice & get the yellow out of her skin & eyes by pumping her full of fluids to get her liver working. Unfortunately the day after we are discharged from the hospital we get a call that we have to go back to the hospital ☹ overnight to put V under the UV lights because her bilirubin levels were way up which meant her jaundice wasn’t improving on it’s own. I was a bit panicked about how she would react to the session, but turns out she LOVED it in the little incubator! A real sun baby for sure. Not like her mother!

Our other job is to get V back up to her birth weight. Babies always lose up to 10% of their birth weight during the first couple of days, so the goal is to get them back up to their birth weight during the first 10-14 days (especially important when jaundiced). V dropped from 7lbs 7oz, to 7lbs 1oz, (well within the 10%) but to make sure her liver starts to function properly they made us supplement my breast milk with formula, which I was a little upset with at first. It’s really important to both Brad and I to raise V on breast milk, and I didn’t want to have to use formula at all… however after discovering the peace of mind I had after watching her down 30ml of formula in a few hungry gulps, I decided that maybe the whole bottle / supplementing with formula thing was OK ☺

I started doing a combination of breast feeding, pumping and formula feeding to top up my milk production, but also so that Brad could join in the fun & bottle feed her. (It is really nice to see your husband cuddle and love your baby…) It’s also nice to physically see in a bottle how many ounces your baby is getting, so you can eliminate hunger when she starts to cry and get you on a good feeding schedule. (PS. The other great thing about getting to use stored breast milk & formula as back up? Wine. I can have WINE!!)

I didn’t know this before, but Public Health nurses make home visits after delivery to check up on the moms! Pretty cool. So the nurse comes to visit and weigh V and she is gaining weight and is looking less yellow & doing MORE than great! Within 2 weeks she is 8lbs 1 oz! There was some concern about one of her kidneys so she has an ultrasound at 2 weeks but turns out all is fine.

Week 3 & 4 Mom-in-law leaves Brad & I on our own, and I’m grateful he’s here to help with dog walking and night feedings. We spend lots of time visiting all of our friends & showing off our baby girl to all of her various aunties & uncles around town… we also spend some much deserved patio time at our home-away-from-home the Hurricane Grill!

Week 5 Brad goes back to work and reality hits… I’m suddenly on my own with our baby & 2 dogs. I lovingly start referring to us as the “Mear Family Circus” and everything I do takes at least an hour longer than it used to! Not to mention I discover the stroller does NOT fit in the trunk of our car so it now sits in the front seat… for the record, we are getting a new car. ASAP.

Also this week one of my best friends, Sarah Bannister, throws us a ‘meet & greet’ shower at her place in North Van & Little Miss V is spoiled rotten! I can’t wait until she fits into all the cute stuff she has to wear!!

Week 6 Brad is still at work and I’m adjusting pretty OK to walking the dogs with the stroller, but luckily they start doggy daycare 2 days/wk. V starts to have some unexpected, inconsolable what they call‘Purple’ crying fits, and is having more & more “awake time”… especially in the evenings. This is particularly awesome ‘cuz Brad gets to come home after a 12+ hour workday to a screaming child when he just wants to cuddle her. However, after much research I learn that she is right on track for newborn development & apparently the crying fits will become less frequent within the next month… we just have to get through these next few weeks.

Also this week we take the ‘circus’ on a 2-day trip to Ucluelet to visit my mom’s ashes at Black Rock, introducing her to Veronica, & to say goodbye to Auntie Christina who is moving back to Ottawa this month. ☹

Week 7 V is holding her head up more and more! And her standing / step reflex is kicking in. AND she is having more awake time & is an absolute angel… 90% of the day ;p She will be 8 weeks old on Thursday, 2 months on the 29th, and on Saturday I get to finally have the baby shower I missed because V was born so early! My mom’s best friend Karen Sundstrum is hosting it at her beautiful house in West Van which should be fun. Brad finishes work this week and we get him back for 3 weeks before his next contract ☺ We have some vacation time planned in Victoria & Penticton early July which will be so nice. She’ll get to meet some more of her extended family.

Bad news is that unfortunately our puppy Petunia has to have knee surgery on both her back knees this week and will be in casts… **sigh**… ah well… that is yet another adventure for yet another blog. ;p

All in all—I’m extremely grateful for many, many things. I’m grateful for the generous gift we received of pre-natal classes that helped prepare us for delivery & parenthood; I’m grateful that I got to spend 4 days at ‘hospital boot camp’ before being sent home on my own; I’m grateful that I have been told I’m a candidate for a C-Section & get to skip that whole awful labour thing for my next pregnancy; I’m grateful for public health nurse home visits; I’m grateful that my mother-in-law was able to come visit us & help for so long; I’m grateful for all of my supportive & loving family & friends; I’m grateful for my husband’s ability to provide for his family & be a loving father; I’m grateful for soothers & breast pumps & diaper genies & baby swings & vibrating chairs … but mostly I’m grateful for this amazing gift of a new life with my beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Veronica Vogues

Miss V... the drama queen.

LET’S GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT….

♫ Let's give them something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love ♫





I’m not quite sure what Bonnie Raitt has to do with this, but the sentiment is appropriate ☺


So world… I’m a “MOM”. Yup that’s right. I officially got the job as “PARENT” at 5:17pm on April 29th. The #1-most important-yet-they-give-you-no-life-training-for-it job in the world… and I possess it. Jealous yet? You should be! You would think that given the seriousness of a job of this size, there would be a more intricate interview process, but after much research it seems that almost any one of us out there with the right ‘equipment’ are eligible for the position. Who knew ;p

It was quite the lead up to my little baby Veronica’s birth! If you’ve read any of my other blogs you’ll know I had been whining to friends and family and begging the ‘powers that be’ for an early delivery because I was kinda 'done' with that whole ‘pregnancy’ thing… and boy did someone listen! Now, I don’t know if it was my mom working some after-life magic for me, or whether I just married into the right family for it (my brother-in-law & his wife had their beautiful baby girl in December, and our labors pretty much mimicked each other), but whatever it was.... someone out there listened to my pleas and gave me my little girl over 2 weeks early!

You may see from my last blog posting that I was officially full term / 37 weeks on Sunday, April 25th, but not technically ‘due’ for my 40 week delivery on May 15th. (On a side note, I don’t know if you know this but they don’t start inducing labor until 10 days after your due date?? Ya.. Sucks.) Soooo, I was looking down the barrel at delivering somewhere between “any day now” and "a month from now”.

I posted some belly pix on Facebook on Monday the 26th showing off my ‘larger-than-a-bump’ baby bump, and on Tues had a doctors appointment and yet another ultrasound to double check baby’s positioning and my placenta. (This was ultrasound #5 if you count my two 3-D ultrasounds!) But better safe than sorry… if my placenta was in the way of baby’s head then that would mean automatic C-Section, but everything looked good… Baby V’s head was down and ready to go whenever she thought she could!

And it seemed she thought she ‘could’ the next morning, Wed April 27th around 6am. At least, that’s when my water broke. Now, only 7-10% of pregnancies start with a woman’s water breaking, so I wasn’t 100% sure that that was exactly what had happened… initially I had convinced myself that maybe I had lost control of my bladder (which also happens to a certain degree in pregnancies)… but by 9am when I tried to take the dogs out and had already changed my pants 4 times I was pretty sure that no one could have to pee that much in one morning. So I woke up Brad with the news. He was scheduled to work on set that day, so we carried on and I sent him off to work saying I’d fill him in as soon as I knew for sure. By noon, I had been to the doctor, picked Brad up from set and some mild cramping had started… my doctor confirmed that my water broke alright... and holy crap! I was going to be in full fledged labor within 24 hours!!

“But what about the application deadline you were on?” You might ask. “What about finishing the nursery?”… both good questions my detail oriented friends! ;p Well, I started mild labor early afternoon, finished the work for the application (which went out the door via FedEx on Friday finally, yay!) and the nursery is a work in progress... still! ☺

It's kinda funny the way that labour goes down. You think you have these 'plans' and you think that you've prepared yourself enough because you've taken these 'classes' and read 'the books', but you really don't know anything until you're IN it.

As I said, my water broke 6am on Wed, so my doctor scheduled me to be admitted into the hospital at 7am the next morning (April 29th) to induce me in case I didn't go into labour on my own. BUT, by Wed afternoon I was experiencing mild contractions, I went to my dad's in North Van to watch a movie with Brad, by 1am the contractions were manageable (but pretty damn bad by my standards), and by 3am I was on the phone with the hospital saying that 'I really needed to come in now for drugs'. Contractions were 8 mins apart and although they suggest you don't show up until they are between 3-5 mins apart, I was so uncomfortable & restless & overall scared at home that we went to the hospital.

Of course, they hook me up to all these crazy machines for 10 minutes, I don't have a single contraction the whole time, and now I just look like a big faker! Eventually I get my 'laughing gas' (which I puke everywhere and discover I HATE.) and a shot of morphine (which I also discover I hate..), and then FINALLY the God of all Gods comes in at 9am... the anesthesiologist!! My doctor checks me and I'm almost 4cm dilated...Ahhhh!!! it's time for my epidural :)

After the epidural, life is so SO grand :) I went from convulsing and crying and moaning all while hanging on to Brad's neck saying "I really don't think I can do this... I really don't think I can do this..." to giggling with my friends and family watching my monitor saying "Wow, that was a contraction??!!" By noon I was getting my girlfriend Christina to put some makeup on me so that I wouldn't look so haggard during my delivery!

Shortly after, the fun began. I started to show signs of 'pushing' around 12:30pm on Thurs. I was 8cm dilated (you're ready to go at 10cm) and baby V's head was dropped. They slowed me off of my drugs so that I could start to 'feel' where I was to be pushing, and it was heavy on my bladder and everything else below (but for the record, not nearly the same pain it was without the epidural!!) Still, "ugh". But then I started pushing and my doctors & nurses were like "hmmm.... can you stop pushing now?" And then they muttered a lot to each other and checked me some more and put me back on my drugs. (What?!) And then an hour later they checked everything again and were like "Ok, can you try pushing now?" and so I tried, then they were like "OK, ya don't."............... ?!?!?!? By this time I was getting pretty miserable because I had been up and doing this for over 30 hours. The next time they all came in they also called in the OBGYN surgeon on call, which is never a good thing. Within seconds after examining me, she said... "You're not going to like what I have to say...." and the whole room's energy dropped...

Gulp. "C-Section".

Apparently I was now only 9.5cm and should have been 10 by now. I was extremely swollen from all the pushing, but the baby's health was the major concern. Her head was pretty stuck in my pelvis because it was so swollen, (we found out later she was facing sideways & couldn't find her way down poor thing..) and her heart rate was beginning to stress, and that = emergency C-Section. They would have her out in 1/2 an hour.

So, Brad scrubbed in, my family got kicked out, they upped my drugs and got me all numb, and I got to hold my beautiful baby Veronica shortly after 5:17pm that day... April 29th!

IN SUMMARY!! (This is the Cole's Notes version of what happened...) I went into labor 3 days after I was 37 weeks (full term)— I was in labour for 35 hours and then after all of that, had to have an emergency C-Section due to complications with the positioning of the baby. I could have just scheduled that damn surgery and skipped that whole awful labour thing altogether!! **Sigh**

Anywhoooo.... the rest is a blur! Recovery for C-Section is 6 weeks, but I'm up and attem' and feeling really good actually. My baby is amazing, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. There is very little else I've experienced in life that is better than this... (the closest I can compare is raising my puppies ;p) But life is so fun and so much better with little V here, and having my little girl OUTSIDE my belly instead of INSIDE is WAY better!!

For those of you walking the "should we / shouldn't we" decision line, I STRONGLY suggest you SHOULD have a baby. They are far too cute to not have in your life, and if you know me, you know I haven't been this way until now!! I seriously cry tears of happiness almost every time I look at her. I am so in love with my little girl.

xoxo N

My new favorite quote that I got for mommy's day...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

Before I was a mom....

Well, this is my very first Mother's Day. My baby V decided to come early to celebrate the day with me... and I couldn't be happier.

This was an email forward from my Ontario family (thanks Terry / Mom Maraldo!) for Mother's Day and I loved it so much I wanted to share it here.








BEFORE I WAS A MOM


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

The countdown begins...

Well today is Sunday, April 25, and according to my doctor and all things preggo-calendar related, I am officially FULL TERM! That's 37 weeks for those of you who are familiar with week counting, or 9+ months for all you non-pregnant people. I still have another 3 weeks until my due date of May 15 (for a long-ass total of 40 weeks or 10 months preggo) but baby "V" is a fully developed little human now and is all ready to face the world and breathe on her own!

From this point on, her job is just to gain weight... so I'm PRAYING that she decides to come soon. The difference between delivering a 7lb baby vs. an 8lb. baby (let alone a 10lb. baby!) is HUGE. Literally. My girlfriend had a 6lb. something oz baby for BOTH of her pregnancies, and both labors were only a whopping 4 hours long. She delivered early with both of her babies too... lucky bitch. ;p I hope hope HOPE I will get to tell a similar story in a few short weeks, BUT, if little V is anything like her mother, she'll hang out in there for as long as possible -- avoiding this massive 'change' to the cold outside world. I don't blame her really.

She hasn't "dropped" yet... which means she's still sitting right under my ribcage & making sitting/eating/sleeping/pretty much everything uncomfortable... but I guess that's better than sitting even heavier on my bladder (?!) It's all varying degrees of discomfort I guess. They say that if it's your first, the baby drops 2 weeks before you give birth. BUT, they also say that sometimes it's the next day. Or if it's your second child, you may not 'drop' at all... so, pretty much it's that typical pregnancy prediction... she could be born tomorrow, she could be born 10 days after her due date. You know, that whole 'exact science that is pregnancy' thing.

Luckily Brad & I have been keeping busy with a TV project we're developing together, and are on an application deadline of this Thursday... then after that, we get to finish the nursery so I'll get the fun task of cleaning & organizing closets & putting away all the clothes & stuff we've been storing in that room for months... (The keg that was in the nursery has finally made it's way back to the hotel..! Thanks Blake!) So there are projects to distract us from spending every second of every day counting down... but we are READY. And just so excited to MEET our little girl!!

Alright. I've spent the afternoon blogging and getting pampered by my lovely cousin, Michelle right here in my living room... (she comes over every couple of weeks and does my nails and waxes my legs) and now it's time to pay attention to my pups & my husband. Yes, likely in that order.

Ta ta! xo

32 1/2 weeks pregnant...

A very fun and unique addition to more traditional belly shots!







Pre-Natal Art by Kristal Yee
www.kristalyee.com/fpbt

Photography by Reinier deSmit
http://www.brillianteye.ca/

Holy contractions batman!

So, I don't know if any of you have ever heard of this evil, vicious man named John Braxton Hicks who left behind even more awefulness called "Braxton Hicks Contractions"?

Well, I guess I'm kidding. At least, I'm mostly kidding. What I mean is, he didn't leave them behind per se... but he did "first describe them" according to Wikipedia. My opinion is... as a Doctor, do you really want to associate yourself with something so irritating for all of eternity?!

WIKI says : "Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labor or practice contractions are sporadic uterine contractions that usually start around 6 weeks however are not usually felt until the second trimester or third trimester of pregnancy." Ultimately, that means... they suck. I went to my pre-natal class at 32 weeks with a girl who had started feeling them at 18 weeks, (ugh). I didn't know WHAT I was feeling until I was about 30 weeks and had one in front of my doctor. She was like "Oh wow dear... so have you been having lots of these Braxton Hicks?' And I was like... "Huh?" Then suddenly I was like... "Ohhhhh..... right. Those things. Yeah, I was reading about those in my weekly pregnancy calendar... man, is THAT what this is??"

See, it feels just like a Charley-Horse... in your belly. Over & over & over again. Sometimes it's just enough to make you stop and scrunch up your nose and maybe catch your breath... sometimes it can double you over completely in discomfort, but almost all of the time it's aggravating enough to make you hobble to the bathroom in a panic to pee. I just assumed that it was the baby pushing really hard against my belly in a few random spots, but as soon as I knew what it was that I was experiencing, I was able to diagnose them, and even anticipate them starting.

WIKI says: "They should be infrequent, irregular, and involve only mild cramping. Braxton Hicks contractions are a tightening of the uterine muscles for one to two hours and are thought to be an aid to the body in its preparation for birth. Not all expectant mothers have these contractions. They are thought to be part of the process of effacement of the cervix." Guess I'm part of the lucky few who get to have them. Whoo hoo. At least I know that my stomach muscles are getting some exercise over these 10 months since I can't do P90X.

That said, I find that these f@#*ers occur whenever I cause my stomach muscles to flex. (And do you have ANY idea how often you inadvertently flex your stomach muscles in a day?!?!) You laugh. **flex** You're caught off guard. **flex** You sit up from lying down. **flex** You bend over to pick up dog poo. **flex** You have to take your own poo... you guessed it! **flex** (classy shit this whole pregnancy thing huh? ;p) So, I get them a few times an hour. That seems extreme to me, but nobody else seems to bat an eyelash.

Anyhow, now that I'm 36 weeks preggo in a matter of hours, I'm going to stop questioning things out loud. Especially after experiencing some weird tummy cramps today that I would have sworn were the start of labor if it weren't for my pre-natal classes and the internet-- it seems that anything I wonder about or google about simply states that my body is "preparing" for the "real thing". I swear I could be in actual labor and sources would say "well ladies, that's just your body prepping itself for motherhood." No shit.

Soo, I count down the weeks, the days. And if I make it to May 15 & am still blogging about f'n Braxton Hicks contractions instead of having the real thing, I will be hitting some serious inducement strategies.

Shower Etiquette...

When I told my husband that I was going to have a bunch of girls over for a shower, he thought this whole pregnancy thing had finally taken a turn for the better! "NIIIICE.... what night?!" BUT, when I then explained what kind of a shower I meant, he simply shrugged and turned back to his computer.

A guy can have his fantasies I guess... ;p

Baby Showers.

Who do you invite? Just women? Just women and maybe a few select couples? Just family? Just friends? Just close family? Just close friends? What about work friends? Do co-workers count as friends?

Well, for the sake of simplicity, let's just say we choose to go the "all girl" route. Do you invite every female you know / are related to / are associated with in life and risk looking greedy? Risk looking like you're running some popularity contest or are just inviting as many people as possible so that you'll be 'showered' with gifts? OR, do you go the opposite route. Maybe you're more selective about who you invite, thinking that you're doing everyone else a favor, and then you face the inevitable ego-bruising?

See, as the pregnant woman you think: "Maybe I don't know them well enough..." or "They wouldn't be interested in coming anyway..." or "They live so far away..." or "I just don't want to impose on anybody!" and as the uninvited guest, they're like: "It's not like I haven't known her for 2 years or anything..." or "I guess she just doesn't care that I'm interested in her baby's future..." or "It's not like I don't drive to Vancouver all the time..." or "I guess she just doesn't want me to be there."

Maybe all of the above are extremes, and there is some happy balance that I'm missing and other woman find? But I would imagine that 'to-get-or-not-to-get' an invitation will undoubtedly ruffle feathers no matter what the choice.


BUT, I've come to this... and I think it covers all bases:

* You are all welcome to come to my baby shower.
* You are all also welcome NOT to come to my baby shower.
* You are not obligated to bring 'gifts'. It would just be really cool to spend the afternoon catching up and introducing my worlds to each other.
* Gifts, however, will not be frowned upon as we are trying to spend as little / save as much money as we can.
* We would really prefer to get your hand-me-downs as gifts... collections from your friends' friends... purchases from Craigslist... items on a year or two loan etc. Let's take the environment and economy into consideration shall we? Second hand clothes and toys function just as well, are already doing their damage to the earth and are 1/2 the price to buy!
* For those of you who insist on buying all things *new* however, we are going to be registering a few of the bigger/ more specific & personal things at Babies 'R' Us and Walmart. (Maybe if they're pricey you can team up with a few other party-goers for these items?)
* AND, if you're at a complete loss, insist on the 'gift-thing' but don't want to risk doubling up on a purchase, cash or gift cards of any denomination ($5, $10, $20) will help us buy diapers and supplies later in the year. Costco / Walmart / Babies 'R' Us would be our first three choices for store gift cards.

(PS: If you are male and want to come to the shower, please let me know... I am not opposed to male attendees, but I think that Brad will be hosting a hockey-watching-beer-drinking-shower at the same time, so you may want to go to his instead!)

And that's that.

I hope to see you all / not see you all soon :) I don't have solidified dates of the two showers yet (both on the North Shore in April) but will keep you posted.

xo N

The difference 30 yrs in technology can make...

The first two pictures are ME at 27 weeks in my mom's belly!! (around Sept. 1979)

The next three ultrasound pictures are our baby Veronica at 28 weeks, Feb 20, 2010... we did the 3D Ultrasound at Sono Image in Coquitlam http://www.3dsonoimage.com/services.php
We will definitely be doing the 3D imaging again... what a difference, and well worth the $200 for 2 sessions!!

"AND THE GOLD MEDAL GOES TO...."

(... do they even announce the Olympic Gold Medal winners like they do at the Oscars? After almost 16 full days of watching the 2010 Winter Games, and 10 Canadian Gold medals, you'd think I would have noticed.) ;p


Every parent thinks that their child is destined for great things, so it will come as no big surprise when I say-- I SWEAR this little girl inside my belly is going to be an Olympic champion. "How can I tell", you ask? Well, from morning 'til night, she's punching and kicking, doing stomach crunches, leg raises, bicep curls...with all the moving around she's doing, she's bound to be one fit little baby!!

According to my Pregnancy Calendar, after 28 weeks I'm supposed to check in with my belly every morning and evening and count 'baby movements'. If I don't feel about 10 movements in an hour, I'm supposed to drink juice or eat a sugary snack and try again... If THAT fails, then I'm to contact my practitioner to get a checkup and make sure everything is alright. (Yet another way these books and doctors try to freak out expectant mothers...)

However, what they DON'T give advice on, is how to function when you're being karate-chopped from the inside 24/7! "10 movements in an hour" Pregnancy Calendar?? How about 10 movements every 10 seconds! Especially at bedtime.


They say that the average woman starts feeling baby move between 18-22 weeks. If you've had a baby before, or you're really skinny, you'll feel movement around 18 weeks... well at 21 1/2 weeks when i STILL hadn't felt anything, I was getting a little anxious. "Umm.. how do you know if your baby's still alive?" I would ask my husband. And his face would go pale.

Then one day at work when I was around 22 weeks I felt it. Was it just paranoia setting in? Or maybe just gas bubbles after lunch? Nope. Within a few hours I felt it again, and then again later that night after dinner. Like little fingers rapping along the inside of my belly. I consulted my Urban Encyclopedia (aka 'Facebook') and all sources were agreed--- that was baby moving. Whew! Thanks Facebook doctors. She was alive and well, and I fell into that 18-22 week statistic. (Sometimes it's really OK just to be average.)

And now at 29 weeks, I realize it's been an Olympic party in there ever since! Maybe it's because now I know what it feels like so I am more aware? Maybe baby's getting bigger and stronger and simply moving around more in there? Maybe it's a combination of both, but either way, it's comforting to know that whenever I feel any movement -- it's good movement... even if that means she punches my bladder at 4am and makes me pee 7 times a night.


So, like I said... if there's going to be a future Olympic Gold Medal winner, it's my little girl. After all, she'll be born in 2010, so that has to bless her with all things athletic. :)

(By the way... is being a "Ninja" an Olympic Sport yet? If not, it should be... hmmm... maybe little Veronica here will put it on the map.)

Happy birthday to my mom... in loving memory..

Well,

My kids will never know the beautiful soul that was my mother, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't share in our memories of her... this is a slideshow I made for my mom's funeral. miss you mom.

THIS IS HALF YOUR FAULT!

I have joked since Day One of discovering I was pregnant that I was going to write a book called “This is Half Your Fault!” focusing on the ‘joys’ of marriage and relationships during the 10 loooong months of pregnancy… but the likelihood of that actually happening is pretty low for 2 solid reasons:

a) I don’t think I have the attention span to actually write a book;

and

b) Other than a catchy title, I don’t think I have much material to fill the pages!

Now, I don't know how most of you ladies feel out there, but I really have to hand it to my husband. Apart from some bumpy transitional times during the first trimester where we just wished we could go back to the way things were, Brad has really jumped onboard and has been amazing throughout this crazy new stage in our lives. He's been supportive & understanding of my various mood swings -- he caters to my random food cravings, (like running to 7-11 at 10pm if I decide that I REALLY need some fuzzy peaches or Rolo ice cream), and most of all he's managed to cope with my lack of 'libido'....

(Wow girls.. Ready to get pregnant now or what?!) ;p

The Backstory…

Even before we were married or ready to have kids, Brad and I talked about what would happen if we ever got pregnant: Would we keep it? Yes. No brainer. How would we afford it? Well, we just would... "Let's try our best to wait until we're in our 30's.." That was our only goal. (And we succeeded at that!)

We talked about what we thought the most challenging parts of pregnancy were going to be… (and if you’ve read any of my previous posts, you can probably guess that I wasn’t thinking about the miracle-of-life that is conception)… no… I was focusing on all the drugs I’d need because I’m terrified about the pain I will feel during labor… and I was wondering how the hell I was going to get through 9-10 months of pregnancy with no wine!!

We had long talks about parenthood. What does it mean to be a 'parent'. We talked about my upbringing, his upbringing, our morals, our views on disciplining... We were relieved to discover that neither of us have a desire to introduce religion to our kids at birth, ( even though I was raised Catholic, my parents gave my brother and I the choice to continue practicing at age 13 and we both chose not to.) Our kids, too, will be free to make decisions about religion if and when they're ready.

We were confident that we'd both be accepting of any life choices that our kids made (and were pretty sure up until our ultrasound that our first child was going to be an awesomely gay son-- ah well, we may luck out with #2!) We're STILL convinced that our kids will probably be accountants or scientists or something else that we artists can't relate to. But all we can do is teach our children about love and give them the best tools possible for them to survive... (and then we'll do what our parents did... keep our fingers crossed that what we were able to give them was enough!)

We will expose our children to the world. Focus on the things that are truly important. Passion. Education. Culture. Wisdom. We'll teach them about food and nutrition, and introduce them to various activities and hobbies and styles of music and arts and sports and people. We'll start them young going to see live theatre and eating out in restaurants. They'll grow up on sushi and pad thai and spicy Indian curry and hopefully by growing up in multi-cultural Vancouver (even though they'll be raised by two whiter-than-white parents) they'll never even need to know about being color blind.

(By the way, on a total side note, have you ever googled the definition of "Parent"? One pretty traditionally says: "PARENT: One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother." But another one says: "PARENT: An organism that produces or generates offspring."

An 'organism' huh? Wow. I feel so... ordinary.

What happened… (The Pregnancy Part)

So, we agreed early on in our relationship that if the whole pregnancy thing ever happened that Brad would give up booze too. (Fair is fair, right?) A ten month detox. Besides… a girl can’t get preggers on her own, it takes 2 to tango…

As I've said in other posts, I found out that I was pregnant in September 2009... right after Brad & I had our last financially irresponsible summer of being DINK’s… (Dual Income, No Kids)… lounging on patios with our two puppies and amazing friends, racking up hundreds of dollars in bar tabs...

And then, WHAM. Bye-bye summer of freedom, it's detox time. Easier said and done for me than for Brad, that's for sure... I was feeling so crappy that even the smell of wine was enough to make my tummy turn. But he was a trooper. There were moments for sure during the first trimester where I was so intolerably grumpy that he probably wished he could drown himself in a case of beer... I remember one particularly irritable day I told him to either start drinking again or go back to work shooting movies on the island, because we were actually happier that way.

Ahh love. ;p

So I've covered our views on parenting and mood swings and food cravings and what happens when two people lack a 'vice'.... so now, for a brief moment I will talk about my "libido" (or the lack-thereof). **Sorry to my future children who may be reading this... You may want to skip this paragraph!** I have done much research in this area, and it simply seems that it's absolutely inconclusive. It's just different for every woman. Some women experience an increase in sexual interest and activity during their second and third trimesters, and some women don't. The only consistent thing seems to be that if you're feeling sick and tired during the first trimester, you likely will not be in the mood for intimacy. No kidding. You mean, puking isn't a turn on for most people?! But it seems that MY 'mood' just hasn't picked back up again yet... but I suppose there's still time!

OK. That's all I'll get into about that. I don't want to embarrass anybody.

All in all, my reason behind this whole blog was to give kudos to my hubby. He's really been picking up the falling pieces during this whole pregnancy thing.

So Bradley… it's true. This IS half your fault! And thanks, sweetie, for taking on your 50%.

xox

(P.S: I'll have to keep you all posted on the "What Happened... The Birth Part" and "What Happened... The Breast Feeding Part". We'll see if I still feel this way after giving birth to a watermelon and having a creature tug at my once-upon-a-time-sexy-female assets!! ;p)

Random Tips & Things I've Learned since being preggers....

I'm going to continue to update this section as more info pours in, and as I 'grow' throughout my pregnancy. Hopefully it's of interest to my curious friends, (hi Christina & KJ!) but it will also help me remember all of this when we (oh man, am I actually going to put this in writing?) GULP.... when we eventually have our 2nd kid. ;p

This may wind up being longer than I intended for one post, but oh well!

At 25 weeks, this is what I've learned:

YOU'RE PREGNANT FOR 40 WEEKS...

This equals 10 months, I don't care what anyone says. (On a side note, do you know how much that screws with my whole backstory about how/when/why I was conceived by MY parents?!) I think the whole myth about being pregnant for 9 months is mostly because no one ever really knows they're preggers for at least the first 4 weeks of this 40 week timeline, and for the first 2 weeks of those 4... you're not even technically pregnant!!

Here's the thing. You go to the doctor... and you test positive. "YAY!" or "AAK! or "----" (insert appropriate response here.) And then they drill you about the dates of your last period and when your new cycle would have begun and whether or not you're on a 28-day or 30-day cycle etc. etc. etc. You know, stuff a woman who is not obsessed about being pregnant or getting pregnant pays little attention to. Then they tell you you're 8 weeks pregnant. "But wait a second..." you say. "I didn't even have sex until (---insert number of days / weeks here---) after that day 8 weeks ago!" And they say "Exactly." So what does that mean? It means we are all Virgin Mother Mary's having this amazing miraculous conception before even consummating!

The only reasonable explanation I have come up with is the following: Not all women are alike, so in order to create some sort of 'generalization' and 'consistency' about pregnancy, doctors simply count from the first day of your new cycle-- even though you're not pregnant yet and scientifically CAN'T be pregnant until after your egg is fertilized, they count you preggers.

Soooo.... I like to think of it like this: The whole 40 week journey is actually NOT about the woman, it's about the Egg. The egg is 'born' on the first day of your cycle, and lives happily on her own for about 2 weeks sperm free. Then, when the woman 'ovulates', the egg is set free to go find her spermy-soulmate... and if she does? Then 'Whoopie we have a baby!!' and if not? Her journey is over and she unfortunately is flushed away with all the others at the end of the month by your 'red visitor'.

It all makes me laugh... I actually had an Ultrasound Technician say "Well dear, it's not an exact science"... but after this many centuries of women giving birth... shouldn't it be?!?!

But it really isn't. So I coined a phrase and called it: "Pregnancy time". In "Pregnancy Time" a woman is carrying for 40 weeks. In "Pregnancy Time", a month is only 4 weeks / 28 days long. And as of tomorrow, I'm 25 weeks pregnant, which means by "Pregnancy Time" I'm now in my 7th month. (Holy crap!!)

THE MORE PREGNANT YOU LOOK, THE LESS PREGNANT YOU FEEL...

At least, this has been the truth for me! When I was first questioning whether or not I could be pregnant, my nose started turning up at the strangest things (coffee... wine... vegetables) and I craved all things creamy & cheesy & gooey and great! (This was coming from the girl who went to the gym every day, counted her daily calories on her IPhone and ate less food in order to allow herself more wine at the end of the day!) And I felt tired. Sooo tired. I almost started questioning whether or not I should get tested for mono.

The first 4 months sucked.

They call it "morning sickness" but come on now, anyone who's really had it knows it's "all day sickness". I woke up every morning so hungry I would be sick, but I hated the thought of eating and never wanted anything specific until it was too late, and suddenly meal planning became the most stressful events of Brad's day. Brushing my teeth made me throw up, car travel and airplanes made me nauseous, I was grumpy & tired & all together joyful to be around :)

Now, I'm a person who's normally extremely project oriented & naturally driven, but as soon as I got pregnant I just wanted to curl up in bed & hide from the world. I lost any and all interest and ambition for everything, and wished that time, people & responsibilities would leave me alone... it's actually the closest I've ever felt to being depressed.

Even worse? You're not showing. And you don't really want to tell anyone for at least the first 3 delicate months in case you lose the baby... So no one knows WHY you're so angry with the world. And did I mention no wine? (By the way? Just try hiding being pregnant from your servers & bartenders who have been ploughing you full of booze for the past couple of years... not easy.)

In Month 5 I was puking less, but still sleeping like I had never slept before. (Luckily, my Film Development job is a combo of working from home & office and so up 'til this point I was able to be at home with my puppies & rest whenever I wanted/needed to.) But month 5 was full of travel & Christmas & birthdays & parties--- and that's when I really started missing my wine. (Do you sense a pattern here??) But I just appeared "thicker" at this point, not pregnant. As far as I was concerned, I was huge, but I'm used to my own self-perception.

In January, Month 6 I REALLY started to show (around week 22) and my energy was coming back. My co-worker, Marnie has been getting a daily kick out of watching me pop... and now at 7 months, I look officially pregnant-- but feel great :) I can even brush my teeth now almost without gagging! AND I can eat raw vegetables again. Very exciting.

Now, some people are adamant about being the best "motherly host" their fetus could pick... I kinda try... but figure that between all the extremes, there has to be a happy medium. So apologies in advance to all you die-hard pregnancy-nazis out there... I'm just not one of you.

-I DO have the occasional drink (I don't get tipsy, but a glass of wine or a pint of beer does wonders for my mood.)

-I DO have hot tubs (in 10 minute intervals, less if Brad's watching.)

-I DO eat Sushi. My doctor says as long as it's from a place I trust then it will be fresh.

A few tips I learned along the way to deal with "morning sickness"

(compiled from personal experience & from those who have done this before):

-keep Saltine crackers by your bed at all times. You will eat them randomly, especially first thing in the morning.

-Ginger Ginger Ginger. Gingerale, tea, candied... however you can get it into your system. I don't know the scientific reason as to why, but it simply helped.

-Mac & Cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches & soup are the best go-to meals.

-Give in to your cravings within reason. I made Brad run to get me Ketchup Chips & Fuzzy Peaches one day, but luckily those crappy-food cravings don't last.

-Keep a lemon in your purse & scratch & smell it when you feel sick (I never did this, but wish I'd known about it ealier! My gf Melina says it apparently really helps)

And that's it for now :) I will continue to add as I learn & grow... would love to hear your tips & stories so I can help educate myself & my pals who are considering motherhood...

At 22 weeks, Baby Veronica sucks her thumb :)